I’m sure you all know the routine, you have notes posted everywhere, you repeatedly show how to do something and you call several times during the day to make sure everything is alright. I try to discuss the facts with her that she might have Alzheimer’s or some other dementia and sometimes she agrees and other she thinks that I and my sister are out to get her. I try not to get mad, but it’s hard not to when the facts are clear as day. I realize her perception is not based on reality all the time, but still I try to tell her I’m only doing this because I love her and I’m trying to do what’s best for her. After seeing all the horror stories on here about dealing with this I can only imagine what the future holds since this is just the earliest phase of this disease. I am prepared for the worst that is going to happen because there is no stopping this disease. I just hope against hope that any kind of medicine she might get from this neurology doctor helps slow down or even stop the progress of whatever she has. I know this isn’t the case and it will get worse, but still I hope and pray.
Sometimes I put on Helen Reddy song” You and Me against the world” and just bawl my eyes out or Paul Anka “Times of your life”. I’m 51 but wish to h*ll I could go back to be a little boy and make this all go away. I guess everyone goes through this and I guess by the time the end actually happens I will not have any emotions left to spare. The thing that scares me more is by the time I reach this age there may not be anyone there to look after me as I never married and had any children. I just wish Mom would be more grateful for all I’m doing for her. She has no money except for her Social Security and no life insurance so I having nothing to gain from her demise. My sister has told me stories of her job in a nursing home where people actually call and ask when the hell someone is going to die. I know each and every one of us has issues with parents some worse than other, but I could never have that kind of animosity to someone that raised me to the best of her abilities.
I’ll keep you posted on the neurology doctor visit and hopefully will get a detailed explanation on what’s going on. I already know or have that gut feeling, I just want Mom to know from the Doctor that this is really going on and that we are trying to help her. Maybe this is Gods way of teaching me the ultimate in patience. I never had children so I never learned how to take care of someone till now. God bless each one of you for the tireless task you do.