My Mom is closest to my younger sister, who is moving away. Now, my Mom refuses to attend any family events. Advice?

Follow
Share

She makes up reasons why she can't come to family events - like she feels she inconveniencing others, or she's too sick, or it's too cold. Last week, during bitterly cold weather, she went to a baby shower with this sister. But tomorrow is my granddaughter's christening and my sister is moving and can't attend and my other sister was going to bring my mom and suddenly, today, she is unable to attend because of cold weather (it's going to be 40 degrees tomorrow!) - I don't think this is the reason!!!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
5

Answers

Show:
You could try asking the youngest sister what your mother's routine is when she takes her anywhere. Like everyone, I'm suspecting that your younger sister has been helping out discreetly with intimate tasks that your mother would prefer others not to know about. Maybe your sister carries spare underpants and a Tena pad in her purse, or something - it's one thing for your mother to rely on her for that, another for the whole world to know.

Is your other sister the practical down-to-earth light-hearted type who could carry it off without embarrassment? It seems a pity for your mother to miss the christening: what about turning up and whisking her into the car willy nilly? As long as you've checked carefully that the rest of the family can take care of any personal needs, it might just work. But unless you're sure of your ground, tell your mother you understand and play along with the cold weather excuse.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Don't stress about it. I suspect that she has a physical reason.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Try this: commiserate with her about your leaky bladder, even if you don't have one. It builds up her trust and confidence.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

grammy, I don't know if this is relevant to your mother, but perhaps it is. Older people often have one person that they depend on. Many times they won't do things unless that certain person is with them. It is like that person has become one of their appendages. They feel insecure without them. Maybe it is because the person knows all their problems and they feel will have their back if they need. Or maybe it is simply familiarity. It probably isn't that one child is any more trustworthy than another.

Since your sister is moving, your mother may need a chance to learn to trust someone else in public situations.

My mother is like this with me. She won't leave home without me. I think it may be because I am used to handling some of the things that might happen. She is afraid to go anywhere with other people. I think she is afraid of embarrassing herself by saying or doing something.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

The reason is probably due to the fact that your sister is moving away... thus, Mom is upset and feels she is losing her confidence on going out.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.