My mother has spinal stenosis. She is now in so much pain that she cannot do normal activities and can barely walk. She has been spending a lot of time in bed or laying on the couch. Her neurologist ordered a CT Scan and called her with the results simply saying that it was bad and he wanted her to go to the emergency room. She refused. when I found out about this I went downstairs to talk to her and convinced her to go to the ER. So.... we spent 10 hours in the ER... they did an MRI... saw that the stenosis was severe and suggested that she be admitted for 2-3 days to see if they could get the pain under control and decide what to do next. She refused. I told her I thought she needed to stay to no avail. She told the dr that she just wanted pain meds and she would be fine. My husband was extremely upset and is yelling at me on the phone telling me I can't bring her home because she needs to be treated... well, I know that but I can't force her to stay! He just wouldn't accept that so he just kept yelling at me about it. So now, she is home and my sister called me to tell me that my mother told her that she "won this battle". That I always get my way but I wasn't going to this time because she is going to stick to her guns. She also told my sister that she (my mother) will just have to put on a "brave face" and not tell me anything that is going on from now on. She refuses to have anybody come in to help her even though she can barely walk. She has lived with us for 3 years and I feel like this is just the last straw. How do I move forward from this? I'm not sure I can get past this because how do you help someone who views this whole thing as a battle of wills..... a competition of her vs me. i'm stunned and so angry that she wasted a bunch of peoples time and energy including my own. Oh... and the reason she said she wouldn't stay? She doesn't like the food. I told my husband I'm done but he can't seem to accept that. He accuses me of wanting to do to her what she did to my grandmother. My mother put my grandmother in a nursing home even though my grandmother had the resources to stay at home and my mother lived with her in HER home. My grandmother was so unhappy that she starved herself to death. My mother wears that fact like a badge of courage. So now I feel trapped and hopeless. I'm just not sure I can past get the anger and resentment that I feel to keep her here...now I just feel like I'm being used by her. How can I do anything to help her when she has decided that she doesn't want it and refuses to let me know if she needs it. I'm having a hard time even feeling empathetic towards her now and now my husband and I are fighting over this. What a mess.