Hi there,
I am hoping to gain some insight or advice here on how to best deal with a frustrating situation involving my mom. My parents are retired and entering their late 60's. They live independently in their own home and are in fairly good health. My dad is very active and in good physical shape for his age (goes on hikes daily, gardens, eats very well, etc). My mom is not in as good of health as my dad (overweight, does not get enough exercise) but no major health problems...that we know of! The issue is she refuses to go to a Dr for a check-up of any sort. My dad said it has been 20 years since her last well woman visit including a pap test or mammogram. He called me to express that he is frustrated and has been trying to convince her to no avail to see a Dr. He said she becomes defensive and says she is fine, or that she rather not know that something is wrong. She has some obvious decay somewhere in her mouth (teeth) since you can smell a musty smell when she is close to you and my dad encouraged her to see the dentist for a cleaning and eval but she refuses this too. She thinks that because her teeth 'look' normal at first glance that nothing is wrong but doesn't want to admit that with aging teeth and gums are prone to issues. I tried for 5 or so years to get my mom to see a Dr for a well visit and gave up some years ago but now my dad is the one feeling how urgent this is. She has mild bladder issues and spotting (which she should not being post menopausal). What can we do to get her to a Dr? Could this be a bigger issue than her just being stubborn? I have already tried saying things like "would you want me to never go to the Dr?" "You have a grandchild that loves you and we want you here to see him grow up" "We really love and care about you and want you to be healthy". My dad is worried that if I talk to her about this again she will know he confided in me and will get very angry at him. I don't know how to help :(
Thank you!
