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I have to do most of the cleaning and cooking. I also do the grocery shopping and other shopping for non-food shopping also. I drive her to her appointments that are 45miles away. She says she hates cooking and would rather eat out of cans. She is tired alot, because of health problems. She lets her laundry pile up. Thank goodness she doesn't have me do the yard work or shoveling snow in the winter. Most likely because I have fibromyalgia. I also have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

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She sounds like a good candidate for Assisted Living. They do the cooking and cleaning and meal prep, they do the driving to appointments. She will have lots of company and activities. YOU can focus on getting better. Start taking her on tours.
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Sometimes it reaches the point that it is a decision for in home help or go to a nursing home. There is only so much one person can do. You just have to let Mom know you have done all you can and here are her two choices. If she can't make that decision then you will have to make it for her.
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I think you need to tell her that you cant do it all and if she dosnt accept help then she needs to be in a NH. My mum now wants me to get rid of our cleaner? she dosn think we need one? i do EVERYTHING and even with help its still alot. We have a carer who comes in 3 days a wk for half an hour?? she does nothing as mum wont let her wash her or anything so the carer is just coming in but is no help to me whatsoever. Your mum needs to co-operate as does mine they cannot not have it all thier way and be independant. I have to speak to someone as i cant cope with her stubborness anymore. The sad thing is they have no idea how much work they are and the stress. My mum is never going to co-operate with outside help and now i need to talk to a professional as this cant go on im just drained emotionally,physically and am becoming depressed as this is too much for one person.
Demand she take in extra help for yoursake as this will get worse.
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