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My 85 y/o mother lives with my sister that works. My mother is unable to care for herself; cannot go to the bathroom by herself, etc.

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Contact your state/local 'Dept. for the Aging'. That's one starting point. There should be numerous resources, unless you/sister are in rural area. Give some other information, if you would like 'search' help.

Having given a 'thumbnail' of what Mother is 'unable.....cannot' do is fine, HOWEVER, location and assets (not monies, keep that to yourself) need to be mentioned, if more then very general information is being sought out.

No disrespect intended, which is hopefully understood. The more input given usually reaps better results.

Have the 'headers' on this site been used? If not, suggest trying those also.
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As a medical professional, I would advise you to get to your local social security office #1, #2-get to her physician for all it takes to get a nurse or daily help in the home is a physician's order & a home health team to respond & all hospitals have this in place . The best of all for you. Blessings Are all around you-always...
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Is it really just that simple to just ask her MD to prescribe home health aide to prep meals, bath, dress, help with toileting and medication dispensing during the day while at work or for someone in much need of respite?
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Who do I speak to, to ask these questions. I have my father at home with me now, he's 82, he can get around yet, with help. He can shower, get his breakfast if it's cereal, and nothing to do with a stove. He does not walk the best, but gets around the house,a nd the walker if we go farther. I need to be here thru out the day, to make sure he eats, get the food in, laundry, feed him lunch and dinner, and help with his check book, etc. Can I get paid from an agency if I joined one, my dad does not want anyone else either. He has social security and is a veteran. We tried to get any benefits from them and there may be one available, for a small amount, not for me to take care of dad. I was hoping I could get paid to take care of him and his needs. I have to work, so If I can work and get paid to take care of dad, it would solve my problems. Thanks
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jeepgirl1,

Yes, you can be paid. Check with local agencies and state government, they will provide you with contact information and requirements.

In most cases it will require some 'schooling and certification'. It may not be easy, but the rewards are immeasurable. Another thing is POA, should be in place. If you are the, or they (POA) accept the fact, you can be paid from assets available to your father. You will have to count that as 'income' at tax time.

The caregiver used for Mother resides in the same complex, which is in another state from where any of us reside, receives a monthly check from Mother's assets, for which the family is thankful. If we were able to relocate Mother to any of the three states in which we -the adult children reside- then payment for being the caregiver would be afforded to that family member.
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Hi LifeRyder, your answer provides a glimmer of hope through a window I thought was plastered over! I read that a POA can not receive any recompense from their charge. Maybe they just meant they can't be paid to be POA? That would make sense. A caregiver should have POA, and should be paid, so that would indeed be a good plan. I have been told by professionals in charge of paying such bills that yes, the "employee" needs a certification of some sort. I bet the level differs by state. By the way, youtube has excellent videos on how to care for an invalid.... hopefullly we'll never need to learn this, but the resource is there. Best to all......
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