Mom said "I love you" to the clerk at the store. She is overly friendly to strangers, but keeps no friends. How to deter this behavior? - AgingCare.com

Mom said "I love you" to the clerk at the store. She is overly friendly to strangers, but keeps no friends. How to deter this behavior?

Follow
Share

She has never met this woman (the cashier), and just leans in towards her and "coos" "I love you" to her. I was flabbergasted, said lets get going mom, but she continued telling this woman what a beautiful face she had and other flattery that she uses to create these "golded moments with strangers" is how I refer to it. It can be quite embarassing, and some people don't want the attention/invasion of their personal space. She gets physically close to them, and one guy actually barked at her to get back while at the grocery check out. Others find her quite charming. She does not really listen when having a conversation, and doesn't try to get to know people, that's why no real friends. She just wants these one time connections with random strangers that she accosts. Other than encourage her to join a group, which so far she has dropped out of every one we've tried. What can I do to get her to stop this inappropriate affection? She will also hug people she just met at the store often kissing them on the lips. This vocalizing of I love you to a stranger is a new issue for us. She has always been a attention hog, but that never really bothered me, as it was harmless. Sorry if redundant, just writing this off the top of my head and can't really see what I've written to proofread, but I'm sure some of you have experience with this and can offer some ideas or just spme support. I've posted here before, maybe some of you remember me from before. Anyways, sometimes I think I am going crazy with her.... Ideas?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
6

Answers

Show:
Ladee, I appreciate you reading my story and that you answered. I am open to all ideas. You might have a good idea there, it might sort of take the attention away from mom for that moment.... I'll.have to try and work that in sometime... I don't really care what any bystanders think of me, I had to get over that a long time ago,being raised by my Mom the attention getter. It just might work!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Meh .. it just occurred to me that what I suggested might actually make it worse. So .. careful, there, lol.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Hmm .. just a thought: when it happens the next time, lean down/over to her and whisper, "but not as much as I love you" or "you're prettier, mom"

Maybe what's she's really looking for is YOUR attention?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Nancy thank you for your ideas, they are good ones. I don't have a diagnosis for her yet as this has recently escalated to the point where she has seen a neurologist, and its having a MRI of the brain this Monday. She forgets many things, grasps for words, is making strange repetitive mouth movements and is willing to tell little lies to try and cover for any shortcomings. So I can no longer sit by and chalk it up to just normal aging. (Whatever that is) I do believe she is suffering from dementia of some kind, and hopefully, we will get some answers after the MRI. It is surprising how well she compensates sometimes, and other times she has no filters or boundaries like you mentioned. I will talk to her about no more touching, that would help. Thanks again for your thoughtful insights.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Nancy thank you for your ideas, they are good ones. I don't have a diagnosis for her yet as this has recently escalated to the point where she has seen a neurologist, and its having a MRI of the brain this Monday. She forgets many things, grasps for words, is making strange repetitive mouth movements and is willing to tell little lies to try and cover for any shortcomings. So I can no longer sit by and chalk it up to just normal aging. (Whatever that is) I do believe she is suffering from dementia of some kind, and hopefully, we will get some answers after the MRI. It is surprising how well she compensates sometimes, and other times she has no filters or boundaries like you mentioned. I will talk to her about no more touching, that would help. Thanks again for your thoughtful insights.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Does your mother have dementia? You said she's always been an attention getter, but if she has dementia, then the attention thing will only magnify. Maybe you can tell her that some people don't like to be touched, so no more touching. Maybe setting some boundaries for her fawning is how to go. For example, no more kissing EVER. No more bothering men, because let's face it, men are the least likely to respond positively to that sort of thing. But on the other hand, having a total stranger tell a female that she's pretty or that her hair/shoes/clothes are pretty, isn't that bad.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions