MaggieMarshall Asked July 2014
Anyone's Mom or Dad have really vivid dreams?
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gladimhere Jul 2014
Carek, I understand what you are going through, it is very difficult to deal with an alcoholic daily! And at her age, I think you are right, there is no changing her now. If you were to stop enabling her to get the alcohol, she will figure out another way. And the withdrawal can be dangerous at any age and should only be done in a hospital/rehab setting. The withdrawal may kill her faster than continuing to drink.
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Carek1230 Jul 2014
I realize I'm enabling. This has been going on for years. My father died from complications with alcoholism. I've done Al Anon, I'm in therapy, I've tried just about everything. Mom just wants to be left to die at home. I have my own physical limitations and health issues, I'm on SSD. I'm basically here like I said before waiting for mom to die, probably from drinking herself to death. She's 80 and gave up several years ago. She's very depressed, stays in bed watching TV and has alienated herself from everyone and everything. Without beating a dead horse so to speak, I realize it's a sad pathetic situation most don't understand or think I'm a terrible person. I don't have any fight left. Mom's demise is in her own hands. She can smoke and drink herself to death, no hard feelings on my part. I've chosen not to take her drunken behavior (she's verbally abusive).
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1tired Jul 2014
Carek, I am just sorry for you, really, that has to be so hard to have gotten to that point. No one can walk in your shoes and it sounds like you have a great deal of awareness. Just really sad for you. Prayers for peace...
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Carek1230 Jul 2014
Thank you 1tired. My sister and I both have vivid awareness. It's sad our mother's wishes are actually not to intervene as difficult as it is to sit watching her deteriorate. I'm at peace with it all. I know it sounds strange and horrible to others, but this has been going on for years, lately getting worse. Nearing the end will be a great relief. Thanks for your kindness and understanding. ❤️
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sherry1anne Jul 2014
My sympathy goes out to you. My stepson drank himself to death at age 39 in my home. My ex-mother-in-law drank herself to death when I was married to my ex. I know what it is. Save yourself as much as possible. I know it's tough.
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steviegirl Aug 2014
Another weekend. Another not do pleasant valley Sunday. Mom's back to me setting fires, or the story changed to my boyfriend who lives in nyc came all the way from NYC in the middle of the night, snuck in,set the fire and left before she could catch him. Calling dr to see if Uti results are in if it's not a uti, then dr prescribed anti psychotic. I used my phone to video her talking about the fire. Thought it might help my case in front of judge. So sad that this is how my last year's with my mom will be. Courts, des,meds, her being demented, paranoid,delusional and accusatory. Tragic.
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steviegirl Aug 2014
Forgive typos. Kindle auto corrects which are mistakes in grammar especially. LOL
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Carek1230 Aug 2014
My drunken mother had another verbal go at me yesterday evening. I try so hard biting my tongue but find I'm sassing back here and there. I just can't take it anymore. Later last night the screaming nightmares began. She was re hashing her tirade against me, complete with the cursing and name calling. I've got to remember to grab my phone and record some of this. I'm in kind of a haze today, trying not to let it consume me. I'm off on a solo road trip in a week, counting the days for the much needed break.
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wolflover451 Aug 2014
is there any way you can wear head phones that drown out noise? if so, that might help with the screaming episodes since you can't/won't leave the house. sorry you are dealing with that stress.
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Carek1230 Aug 2014
Yes I make good use of my noise canceling headphones and iPod! Two of my best investments. Thanks for the tip.
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blue55 Jul 2016
MaggieMarshall: My Mom was doing this as well. Talking very loudly in her sleep and I would be waking up every time. Usually around 2 a.m. to 4:00 a.m. she would be talking and some of it made sense and other times it was incoherent. I think my Mom has Lewy Body dementia even though the doctors have not come out and formally diagnosed her with that. They say early dementia but I know Lewy Body dementia causes a lot of sleep disorder issues. What I did was go out and buy myself a white noise machine. It has worked wonders for me. I do not hear her talking anymore. Its not that loud that I would not hear her if she yelled for help but it blocks out her talking loudly. Try that and see if it works. Now I cannot go to sleep without the white noise machine. I got it at Bed Bath & Beyond. Best thing i have bought myself in a long time. We all need our sleep but caregivers especially need sleep. Good luck!
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sherry1anne Jul 2016
I always say check for a UTI if there is any strange behavior. My mother started with vivid dreams, then nightmares, then halucinations from the UTIs.(urinary tract infections). There are no symptoms connected with it like you would expect. There may be less urine output, but for my mother that was all - not the burning or the normal pain. It affects the elderly by getting into the bloodstream and causing swelling of the brain.
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