My Mom is on her death bed and I believe she is holding on, waiting for my brother to come. Any advice?

Follow
Share

I don't think he will.
My Mother is 97 and Hospice is coming every day now. All the signs are there, they say, and she will barely eat, just enough to stay alive. She ws asking for my brother the other day, who hasn't seen her in over a year. I called him and told him she ws asking for him. That nite she hollared out his name 3 different times. He told me 'he would have to 'think about it'...that ws 2 days ago. I watch her lay there and waste away and take those pain pills and i feel so sorry for her. Is there Anything that we can do for her?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
10

Answers

Show:
i told my mom last night that it was ok to let go now, and that i would be fine. it would all be fine. it was the hardest damn thing i ever have had to do. she has put up one heck of fight since her first heart attack almost ten years ago. then she had cancer of the lungs found a year ago- went through all the treatments and rehab. i can almost feel the end today. not easy to let go of someone you love dearly and in need of some closure. to go quietly, gently in the night.....is my wish for her. that would be my way too. heart felt!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Raindrop, you are in my thoughts. She will have a good passing now. It is wonderful she has you.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Oh what a sad situation! I am feeling badly the younger brother hasn't grown up (by now!). Oh just so sad all around. Maybe mom.wanted to see if he had finally matured a bit more. Well now she can watch over him, in less pain. So sorry for your loss, and her loss, and brother's loss too.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Raindrop, she will go in peace now. She just needed him to come. If she has a priest/minister/rabbi, call him in too. May your angels guide you.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thank you everyone. I took your advise. This morning, the hospice nurse came early..so did my older brother. My Mom didn't want anything to eat or drink and only said that she couldn't understand why my other brother wouldn't come. That sure started the tears for me and almost the nurse. My older brother went into the living room and called the brother and asked him if he would do it as a 'favor' to him. That brother did come, gave her a hug, she with a very broad smile. He let me know that he will show up at the funeral 'early', but won't stay. It's a very immature, stubborn thing with him, but at least he came. Jst breaks my heart, but as far as she knows, all her children came, and she can let go now.
Thank you everyone, & teaka123, i am so very sorry for your loss.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Teaka my thoughts exactly, my brother was unable to handle my father's death but in the end it didn't matter. A substitue will give her the peace she needs and it is HER that is important
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

If he can come that would be best for him and for her. That said - how lucid is she? Is there someone that can step in that she may think is your brother? If that person came in and she thought it was your brother and it brought her peace then so be it. I am writing from experience. My mom was desperate for something prior to her passing, we found a substitute and it brought her so so much peace. It was visible to us and the nurses. We all believe it was what she needed to pass. I recently loss my mom and am not fully ready to share my story, but know that her passing was beautiful. That substitute we found for what she wanted - what she needed was a true gift.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Do you have any idea what the issue is, or is he just afraid of "seeing her like this"? Does he have a wife or significant other you can work on?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Perhaps if she has unfinished business with him you can reassure her that you will give him the message. Would she tell you what is on her mind, or her pastor or anyone else? If you tell her he can't make it (make up a really good reason, not that he is a spineless SOB) and reassure her and tell her it is OK to let go, maybe that will help. So sorry.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Can she have a phone conversation with her?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.