What to do when Mom obsesses over what I need?

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My mom spends so much time obsseseing over what i need that she refuses to except that she needs to get things done for herself like she needs glasses and she needs her dentures redone, i pretty much have to tell her i am not getting anything done till she does witch makes me feel like crap becouse it makes me feel like i am bulling her

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Oh they are exuses, she handles her own money this fall i am going to get a part time job right now i have most of the summer tied up in home renivations and landscaping
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So the financial support is a back-up excuse for her? There might be some manipulation and control going on that I hadn't thought about before. So now you'll have to address that.

Do you handle her finances, and if so, can you determine whether there is sufficient money for both of you to get new glasses?

You say she's supporting you because she doesn't want you to work...what do YOU want? Not wanting someone to work gives another level of control as unless you're gettin SS you're completely dependent on her.

Sounds like a part-time job might help break the financial dependency that seems to be a back-up excuse for not getting the treatment she needs. And do try to help her with the finances so you can determine if her financial concers are legitimate or just excuses.
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Good advise i will try it but one problem is that she is supporting me becouse she does not want me to work and i have supported myself since i was 15 and i do not like her spending money on me to get like new glasses then when it comes time for her to get something done she will say well i can not afford it right now maybe later
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Maybe she really is that concerned, perhaps because she loves you, perhaps because you're her caregiver and she wants to ensure that you're healthy and can continue to take care of her, perhaps because it redirects her conccern for her own health to concern for you and lessens whatever anxiety she may feel about her own health and situation.

Instead of disagreeing and prolonging the lack of consensus, I would agree with her and tell her you're taking steps to address the issues over which she's concerned. Give her dates when you're seeing doctors, etc. Tell her you're concerned about yourself as well, and want to make sure that her worries are addressed, BUT that you also need to ensure she can accomplish whatever needs to be done for her.

If you refuse to "get anything done till she does", not only will you feel bad but so will she as you're invalidating her perhaps legitimate concerns for your welfare. Recognize their legitimacy and act on them. If you don't take care of yourself, you're going to fall prety to caregiver stress a lot sooner.

Let her still be the mother she is, take her advice, and make plans for both of you to accomplish what's needed.

Then treat her to lunch or dinner afterward.
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