How can my Mom get so obsessed about 1 thing and then be upset?

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I'ts so that I can't call her anymore..I did the last time a few weeks ago; I miss her terribly and trying to help her with things around the house..and she's become obsessed with us not doing it the way she thinks it's to be done..and it takes times to move autos and find someone reliable to move them . we have plenty of time and she's obsessing about it and arguing with me get it down now.
so i can't call her cos it upsets me hear her talk that way. I told her it wasn't like her to act this way.....and no apologies......nothing.......
scared to call her.......

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have her doctor check what vitamins and stray minerals she is low on. does she have a urinary track infection.don't worry about slow changes as much so you worry about the fasts ones. go see her if you can see the changes in the house and her ways ticks or new habits.
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Your Mom does know..and feels awful when she speaks out of context or character. She does know. Patience is key.and knowing she is changing.so hold nnothing against it. We all will have to take our turn. and Meds do help if the Dr says which kind. she may not have a reason..so if she is not being herself..its just a slip of things..and she may not remember why.
Im learning these things myself.
love & patience. and all is part of out age.
good luck.
Medina..am here for you.k
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Medina, I definitely understand what you are experiencing. I am going through the exact same thing with mom, from the obsessing down to the rudeness. I try and remember that mom is changing because she would never have acted this way before. I am starting to hold close the good moments to help get me through the bad.

Once I realize that mom's snappiness is not an isolated incident, I do start gently and calmly questioning her to see what has upset her. Once we get to the bottom of that, she gets better until the "next" time.

So far, this is just my way of dealing with this and I am a definitely a "newbie"; but it seems to be working. Mom has been diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment with Memory Loss and is still undergoing testing for Alzheimer's. Her doctor (neurologist) did notice some of the sharp tone and told me that if it got too bad (which it was) to let him know and he could give her something to help.
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Fregflyer....OMG I love that statement we are kids to them forever. MY KIDS are my babies...I love them more than life. I just pray Dear God, please do not let me get this horrible disease. My kids deserve a mother who will just DIE and not go on and on in an illness that is horrible. Alzheimers, Parkinsons, Dementia...I hate them all and do not want to do that to my kids. They keep telling me they would care for me no matter what. But, it just is not fair. I want my kids to remember me like I remember my mom. My mom refused to live at home or with any of us. She went to the hospital Hospice toward her end. I don't think there are any of those any longer. But, she died like the lady she was...When I cleaned out her closet, she had dresses with tags on them yet...She was planning on going somewhere to the end and always dressed like she had a million dollars. That is who I want to be. My BABIES are so precious...
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Media,,,, When my Partner starts on something, I let him go on his tangent by himself. I usually busy myself with something else, shake my head and wait for him to realize that he must have done something wrong. There is NO WAY I would ever get an apology as with his disease and personality (full on German), it is not going to happen. I just remember how much I love him and he loves me and get on with life and caring for him. Good Luck
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MidKid50;
~Thank you very much for your words to me..you put me at ease..and that is something I appreciate highly. Thank you. I will put a note to the Dr...as calling may just be hard as he is always with Patients. Mom is coming today for lunch with her granddaughter; my daughter that helps. and i thot of not being here when she comes by..son will be here. it's all cos i have no idea what she will do. I know she is wanting things done..yet, of course We get it done. I don't know what #2 thing will be. I'm just Praying that she just rests more and stays cool&hydrated. She had go to Dr.and he gave her pills for Vertigo..which she threw them up..became dehydrated ..not hungry..and went to ER the next few days after that and they told her Vertigo. She didn't tell me she was in ER as we live in the town where the Dr;s/Hospital are. My Daughter said Why didn't she tell us?? then all of this stuff of moving the cars..came about and we are doing the best we can. We are doing it..so let us do it. My Son is like Wow..and she's all over the place..he trimmed a tree branches and she was particular which saw he used and put it back exactly where it was.or the air compressor..which is mine..but now is hers ...which I asked for when Dad passed away............as Dad and i worked on vehicles together..and she has been selling and changing his Workshop without asking the grandsons if they want any tools........it's all changed.the One Place we could feel his Presence was his chair and the Workshop. My Dad was a hard worker and supported teh Family.He was handsome..and funny&came from a large family. I guess it was Love at first sight for them..Marriedl over 50yrs. Mom started work too after I graduated with Dad. I don't know why she is jealous of my saying his name or talking about him..I don't want her selling everything either. I help as I can.&do.when I can as she don't let me.
I will write a letter to the Doc &ask Questions.
~thankyou for you being you..& want you to know you have a Friend; Me..that will help you also. Hope to hear from you again.
medina
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Medina: you can, for your own mental well being just ignore this behaviour or.."mom, it will get done as soon as we can get to it, period" ...and let her go on obsessing. However, i agree with all who are advising that you have her examined by her doc or take her to specialist. They can test her for urinary tract infection and a stroke. A "mini" stroke can result in a change in behaviour without other symptoms. A change in behaviour could be alzheimers/dementia, especially if this behaviour continues.
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Medina--
You are a good daughter to be concerned for your mom. BUT don't let her aging make you crazy. She that she gets a good physical and possible a psych eval., if you have the ability to have both done by a good Geriatric Physician. Keeping the voicemails where she is being "obsessive" or "manipulative" couldn't hurt and might help a dr in making their dx. They've heard it all--and if she denies saying things, you can back yourself up. Just try not to make it confrontational. It's tricky..I know. Don't jump in with that, first thing.
She sounds a LOT like my mother. Aging has not been kind to her, as she just gets "more the same". Perhaps your mother has had a small stroke (not uncommon in older folks) and you didn't see them have it, just noticed a change in behavior..or just the aging process itself. I know my mother will obsess over one thing, as soon as it's taken care of, the #2 thing on her worry list becomes #1. (Called Maslow's Hierarchy--look it up if you've never heard if it--we ALL do that, to an extent) And yes, what our aging parents may think is imperative to get done NOW may seem really dumb to us, but to them, they can worry a little problem to death.
You promised your father (whom she didn't like) that you'd care for her, and while I personally think that's not a "fair promise"...you are feeling the frustrations that come with wanting to honor your father and at the same time, don't want to deal with mom.
My mother hurts my feelings constantly, She has never apologized to me once in her life. I wouldn't hold my breath for an apology. Sounds like your daughter us also involved--do talk with her and get her take. Your mom is aging and with that comes changes that we often don't like. She could also have an easily dealt with UTI ( mother will go really "crazy" if she gets one of those. Med combinations can cause a lot of odd reactions in older people...so many places to go with this problem--she really needs a good physical and blood work up to see what's possibly wrong. And prepare yourself that this could simply be your mom becoming an old lady. Not everyone ages beautifully and graciously. Actually, very few people do, in my experience. Good luck to you.
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she probably would be better not alone; tho she won't let me live with her ..I've been alone since 2008 and had to rud myself thru alot. she makes me to be independent as well; always thot of buying a van with one of those beds in it for the pup and i. she says that kind of dog isn't Welcome. so i finally found a place. and been doing so and now am ok.
tho' she says she wants to leave years ago..I know is hard as it's independence and a beautiful yard..
she doesn't lsten to me..and i respect her..and that..yet, not sure what to say or do..i'm alone on this...
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Medina, the more I read about your Mom the more I think it is now time for Mom to downsize.... sell that house [won't be easy] and move Mom into a senior apartment complex where she can be around people of her own age group, no more worry about mowing the lawn, getting the cars ready, fixing this or that.

I know, I should talk, my parents are in their mid-90's and are still in their single family home.... I gave up trying to pry them out of there and go into something with less worry. Because of that, I am now a "bystander" just watching. If Dad need yard work done I give Dad the name of my landscaper because I am too old to do my own work at my own house [we are forever *kids* in the eyes of our parent]. My parents are always hinting about this or that.... I won't cave in, I tell them they need to hire someone.
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