Mom does not want to die from dementia. What do I do?

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She is living in a skilled nursing facility. Been there 4 years. She knows she is losing her ability to get through her daily tasks. Very frightened. She wants someone by her side 24/7. The nursing home cannot provide that comfort. Again, she DOES NOT want to be alive and not have her faculties. What is a loved one supposed to do? It is agonizing getting through my own days knowing my mother is scared out of her wits sitting in a nursing home. My three days a week visits are of no comfort to me or her now that she is declining. Is there somewhere else she can go that has the time to be loving and make her comfortable with less medical intervention?

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Thank all of you for your input. All good ideas. I will try as many of them as I can. This forum is very helpful.
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Have you considered hiring a sitter to be with your mom?
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I understand your pain and your frustration. I wish we could all go quickly and painlessly, but, unfortunately, it isn't up to us how or when we die.

Maybe someday euthanasia will be legal. But until then....

You just have to hope that the psychiatrist can help. Even though she isn't religious, she still may be receptive to a non-denominational pastor just talking to her. It can be very comforting.
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If the MD increased an SSRI your mother may have serotonin syndrome. That would explain her panic attacks. Now call him and tell him to fix it.
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Thank you, Babalou. My mom has taken anti-depressants all her adult life. Her primary doctor just upped the dose about two weeks ago with no results yet. I have an appointment with a geriatric psychiatrist in two weeks. I hope he can help. Mom is not religious at all. She is very stubborn in that area of life and choses to be a non-believer in anything. She is 85 and not in good general health. Lots of pain from previous failed back surgeries that left her lower spine crippled with scoliosis and confined to a wheelchair. She is just extremely scared to end up like most of the people that are in the nursing home with her that just sit and drool in their chairs or lie in bed all day/night. She wants to be "cured" of dementia and old age or she does not want to live. I want to accommodate her, but how?
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Please get her seen by a geriatric psychiatrist. Antidepressants and or mild antianxiety agents might help. Is there a clergy person your mom has trusted in the past ?
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