Mom moved into assisted living and I don't think she remembers who I am. Out of sight out of mind - is this typical?

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My mom and I have always been close. She is 93, has Alzheimer's and has lived with me for about 2 years. During that time, she attended an adult day care and always new who I was. She always called me by name and introduced me as her daughter. She was very comfortable in my home but always believed she was just visiting me. She moved to AL on August 1st and I hired a geriatric care manager to move her (I couldn't do it). I was told to wait 30 days to let her transition. The first week, she was waiting for me to pick her up. The second week - she called me on the phone and I reassured her about a few things. The last two times I visited her - she showed no reaction (happy to see me or anger) and I don't think she knew who I was. Staff asked her who I was and she couldn't answer. Later that day she asked me "how our father was"; she did have a sister. I am shocked that she could forget me in such a short time. I now wish I visited her sooner. Is this typical, an out-of-sight-out of mind reaction; or could it be transfer trauma that expedited the Alzheimer's? I have always been told stories about people asking to go home, once they are in AL. Mom doesn't do that, this is he new reality. Last time I was there, she said "oh I have visitors", but didn't acknowledge me as her daughter. I am just shocked that she could forget me so quickly.

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Pretty much you've answered the question.
With this statement. She moved to AL on August 1st and I hired a geriatric care manager to move her (I couldn't do it).

Yes it is typical of Alzheimer's.

Now you need to relate to her different state. You'll become familiar as a visitor unless you try to remind her in little gestures of your past. Sometimes maybe she will recognize you. But not always. My friends who had a very large family said their mom recognized her husband of 60 years as "my friend who visits" not by his name. The face and your face can trigger the memories I think. But you have to learn how to relate and accept her as she is now. And the abscence may have made the difference in her more apparent to you.
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Some times it just happens that way. My grandmother was placed in a nursing home for a issues other than dementia, but she eventually did have it. When my mom would go to visit it her, it was very hard because Grandma would ask "Who are you?" or call her by someone else's name. After sitting with her for awhile, Grandma would remember who my Mom was. Now, a couple of decades later, my Mom has dementia, and she forgets who some of our relatives are when they visit. It's difficult to know that someday she may not remember who I am. But I read this on another post, when the day comes that she doesn't remember me, what will be important is that I REMEMBER who and who SHE is.
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Don't be shocked that your Mom doesn't remember you, it's just a part of the disease progression. My Mom with dementia is in a care facility and I visit not daily but regularly several times a week. Sometimes she knows me, more often than not she doesn't. Sometimes she thinks I'm her sister. Most of the time I think she recognizes my face as someone she knows but doesn't know who. She almost always seems glad for the visit.
I'd encourage you to try and put your feelings aside and realize that it is not your Mom that has forgotten you but a disease that has robbed her of precious memories. Just go with the flow. If today she thinks you are her sister, so be it. Don't try and correct her. Just enjoy the time you have with her, no matter who she thinks you are.
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In response to Consider this:

I consulted many dementia experts who told me there would be a transition period and I should wait. I actually was going to visit after 3 weeks, but was sick and could not. She is not that close due to cost - so I can only visit during the weekends. During the second week, we did speak on the phone, she knew who I was and said "honey what would I do without you".

I don't think her reaction is resentment at all. My mom is very sweet and seem's content. During one visit - she thought I was her sister. I just believe this is her new reality - and what was is now forgotten. Her brain is dying. Now that she is out of my home, those memories are gone. She has no recollection of living with me for two years. I just didn't think it would happen so soon.

Maybe someone without Alzheimer's would think that way you described but that is not the case here. Another person who posted earlier had the same reaction from her husband.

My mom is in an excellent facility, they are not short staffed. I have had her on the waiting list for almost a year - because that is the only place I wanted to place her. When we visit, she always takes me on a tour - invites me into her room. She tells she me that she has her eye on one of the doctor's and has gone on many dates. My mom is very delusional and has been for years. When I visit she never asks me to take her home, or tells me she wants to leave.

I think her reaction is the progression of the disease.
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There is one thing I remembered about my Mom, who was in long-term-care who was in her last stage of dementia, I was always happy that when my Mom saw me she would remember my name. It wasn't until she took a nap and I was sitting not far from her, an Aide came in and my Mom called her by my name [we didn't have the same name].

After awhile when my Dad would visit, Mom thought he was her brother. And my Mom stopped recognizing my sig other. It was just the progress of dementia.
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Please consider other contributing non Alzheimer's factors that surely affect a person being uprooted from everything & everybody familiar & loved & then seemingly abandoned to the unknown & untrusted, unfamiliar housing, beds, bathrooms, foods, smells, sounds, routines, and strangers. Most "homes" are short staffed & assistance/attention is not the same as home. A shock to the system like that 30 day cutoff surely could cause a severe depression that results in memory loss & a sense of abandonment that could trigger deep anger & resentment resulting in their refusal to acknowledge a daughter. The advice you were given to not connect for 30 days transition time is cruel, uncommpassionate & ignorant!
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Compassionate5 start your own thread that outlines your issue or concern and I'm sure you'll get some good answers. These forums go all over the world, so there are caregivers in all manner of situations.

I'm just so, so sad for those of you with loved ones who no longer recognize you. My heart goes out to you.
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Is no one caring for friends or siblings? Issues are somewhat different.
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Compassionate5, the forum is for aging care, be it parent, spouse, sibling or friends.
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The experiences seem to be about Mom and Pop care. What about sibling care?
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