Mom never "got around" to signing a POA? What do we do?

One state away? Is that where Mom and Dad live; or is there a relative there that can handle the legal?
If you are going to take care of Mom and Dad, long term planning would have them both near you or at your home?
If it were my Mom, I would not let anyone leave her side in that hospital 24 hrs. a day, but then I always take the nuclear option if it means saving someone's life.
That is just me.

Have her seen by your own private physician, who may give you a second opinion or tell you more. The hospital is trying to follow the new HIPPA laws of privacy. Good that you will be seeing an attorney, ask him for a writ of habeas corpus if they still have that. ( yes, it is for a live person too.)

Thanks to all for the information. Mom had ischemic bowel, ICU for 4.5 weeks, very very ill, stopped communicating. No stroke. Doctors can't figure out why she won't talk. Trying to move her closer to family one state away for skilled nursing but developed hospital acquired pneumonia. Has been on NG tube and also trying to get that removed and put in a PEG tube for feeding (failed swallow test). I will be contacting an elder care attorney to see if we can move forward on guardianship. Please, anyone reading this - do paperwork BEFORE something happens!! I have Dad signing his as well as myself, all of my siblings and my husband. Never realized how difficult all of this could be. Also, talk to aging relatives about their wishes during medical crisis and even upon their demise so no one is left making the decisions for them.

Social Workers know how to get the wheels moving. Guaridianship may be required, but in an emergency like this it was a total of 3 hours for me before walking out with the court order. Mthr was easy to serve papers on since she was at the hospital, and we had the hearing immediately upon the return of the sheriff who served her.

Who is listed as beneficiary on the LTC policy as person to be notified in secondary position? I would assume it is your Dad. Whatever you do make sure those premiums continue to be paid. Insurance company may be hoping for nonpament of premium so policy will lapse. Check with your state's Division of Local Affairs, the insuance commissioner is under that umbrella. They I am sure would be very helpful!

By law, LTC policies must have a second person to contact. The company may be breaking the law. Do not waste any time!

And please be sure to learn from this and get your dad to sign a POA and you get one for yourself too! It's never too early for that very important paperwork!!

What are the specific reasons for the hospitalization? Is she unable to communicate because she can't speak, or is she perhaps on a ventilator?

What's the prognosis for recovery? Is that the issue that's prompting the concern for lack of a health care proxy - i.e., there are some issues that because of her condition require consent but no one can give it?

I would think that the hospital would require the Living Will if critical decisions are to be made, but I don't have any experience with a long term care insurer so I'm not really sure what their role is in this situation.

It would help if you could provide more information on your mother's condition, why a proxy is specifically needed now, and what the future plans are, or are being considered.

I'm sorry that you and your father find yourselves I this predicament, and hope that your mother's condition really is only temporary.

Talk to the social worker at the hospital for guidance. Or an elder law attorney would be able to get guardianship by your dad, if they are still married, on an emergency basis. Your Dad needs to speak with an elder law attorney now. If tgere is not a POA in place I believe nost states will recognize a spouse as being responsible for decisions first.