Mom needs to be in long term care facility. What to say or not to say? - AgingCare.com

Mom needs to be in long term care facility. What to say or not to say?

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(dementia, trouble walking , falling, incontinenence). I don't know how to explain to her that she needs to go to a long term care facility. Does any one have some tips about what to say or not to say??

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Can you afford to pay for any home care services?There is a Home Care Sevice in Ottawa that serves individuals who require assistance to live independently in the comfort of their own homes. A big benefit of hiring in-home help is that your loved one gets to stay in a familiar environment. In the later parts of peoples' lives, they tend to get easily confused and can frequently forget where they are. By allowing them to stay in their home, they are less likely to deal with the frustration of being somewhere they are unfamiliar with. Sometimes this options is less of a fight than convincing a senior to move out of their home of many years!
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One way to get a loved one into a LTC facility is to wait for a medical crisis, often a fall. Don't pick her up and call 911 to get her to an ER. She can be evaluated for dementia in the ER. Once there take the nurse aside and explain the situation to her and ask for a social worker. When the social worker gets involved (s)he can help you with the process of placing your mom in the NH. It's much easier doing it this way than doing it all yourself from home. Also, if a Dr. and a social worker talk to your mom she's more likely to go along with it than if it's just you talking to her. Once she's in the hospital she just won't have a choice. She will be transferred from the hospital to the NH once a bed is available and the hospital will keep your mom there until that happens (this is what I did with my dad).

Regardless of how your mom gets to a NH it's not an easy process to go through, for her or for you. Good luck.
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It depends on the stage of your mother's dementia how much she will understand. Due to other symptoms you describe, I would say she may be moderate to severe dementia, but the staging needs to be done by a professional such as a neuro/psych evaluation. Also, how does she adapt to change? If she can understand, It is best to keep telling her as a positive move. If she becomes fearful validate her fears. Probably would be best not to tell her too far in advance, but tell her to keep her safe she needs closer supervision than you can provide at home.
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