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She's 98, has afib, high blood pressure. Dentist no good. Mom is very stubborn, won't believe the Dentist. Called her Cardio Doctor, he said moderate sedation could put her at risk at her age. Mom is very difficult to deal with and I'm very frustrated. I also feel she's too old for a root canal and probably won't sit that long as well. She's in an ALF and is probably healthier than most. My brother lives about 4 hrs away and I would like for him to handle this situation. I'm the only one that lives close by and we both have POA. He just tells me I'm doing a great job, but right now I don't want to handle Mom's problem. My brother visits her about 2x a year. Any suggestions.

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Thank you, I agree, but she refuses to have her tooth pulled. Also, the Dentist mentioned about pulling the tooth and getting a full bottom set, which I refuse.She wouldn't be able to adjust that change. The tooth that has the cavity and abscess is the Bicuspid and the Dentist said that's her chewing tooth. If taken out she wouldn't be able to chew. I find that hard to believe. She is so stubborn and gives me a hard time.
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I agree - just pull the tooth. At her age you have to go with the easiest solution and pulling the tooth would be it. My mom broke off her front tooth and her dentist was able to make a "fake" one in an appt that lasted 90 minutes. Don't ask me how...but it was magic. She's had that fake tooth for about 3 years now.
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Search on this site (upper right corner) for teeth, and dental, for a lot of answers. This is not a rare problem.

If it were me or my 97 year old mother, I would have them pull the tooth. It would probably come out pretty easily and quickly. My mother, at 80, spent thousands at the dentist in her last year of life trying to keep her teeth, but they just kept breaking. I just lost a tooth. The dentist tells me I can do fine without it, and I can, until I get an extra 20K for an implant.

Of course it depends a lot on where the tooth is.

As dementia progresses, her oral hygiene will suffer, and it's hard for someone else to do a good job for her. My father had dentures, and they were so easy to care for.

Lots of people here have difficult parents and difficult decisions and difficult siblings. Please come back, and feel free to vent, rant and rave, complain, whine, and explode about how hard it is. We understand.
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