My mother had a stroke about 4-5 years ago, and she is paralyzed on half the side of her body. She doesn't like sitting up in a wheelchair, and says it hurts too much (even if she hasn't moved yet). She's also a not very nice person, and I really dreaded having to take her in (though my siblings love her to death supposedly). She's currently in a nursing home here, in Utah, and it was supposed to be only temporary.
She originally had the stroke in WA state. My brother was claiming that the nursing home was treating her terribly, and we needed to relocate her to WVA (near my sister). (I personally think after a year or two, he was tired of dealing with her) My husband and I nicely offered to drive out there, and relocate her to Utah temporarily. The nursing home in WVA was completely full, and we were trying to get her into one there. So, she stayed with us in our house for about 3 months before I put her in the nursing home. (It was too much to handle with 2 kids, and my husband being AD Army stationed in another state) This was officially over 2 years ago.
She was supposed to be relocated within those 3 months, but neither my sister nor brother made an effort to relocate her. Key note: When we offered to relocate her temporarily, we said we would NOT NOT NOT be the ones to relocate her to WVA...as I have children and this is unacceptable for us to do. Both siblings agreed to this, as we had already done half of the trip by ourselves. (This first relocation caused a lot of rumors started by same siblings about how we stole money from my mom. My husband just wants to wash his hands of the situation, and I don't blame him)
NOW, two years later, I am 6 months pregnant with #3. We have been warning the siblings that we will be selling our house and moving to GA for TWO YEARS. They had TWO YEARS to relocate my mother, but now that we have the house on market my sister is suddenly jumping on this claiming that we offered to relocate her (no we didn't) and neither of the siblings wants to help.
My sister has offered a few unsavory choices thus far. She wants the relocation date to happen end of Dec or early Jan. My due date is Jan 3rd. I will either have given birth or be 9 months pregnant. I also am a HORRIBLE traveller. A car trip would take me easily 9 days to WVA, by myself.
The choices I was offered via sister was 1) My sister flies out to here, and *I* drive in a rental car with my sister, my mom in the back seat, to WVA. This means I would be driving back alone, and the time frame would be when I am 9 months pregnant OR having just given birth within the last month. 2) My husband, and I drive (9 months pregnant again, or just given birth again) solo with my mother and drive back. 3) My husband flies with my mother on an airplane and drops her off in WVA. (I stressed that whatever option was decided on, we will NOT be paying for...as we paid over $1k to relocate her to here the first time, out of pocket) (Also, my sister says her husband will flip out if she does a "road trip" with only my husband, and my not being in the car...which I think is total crap and I don't feel I should be in a car doing a fucking road trip at 9 months, OR leaving my kids at home that long....FFS I might have a newborn at home!!)
I actually am not happy with ANY of the solutions. So far, though, since we don't want to abandon my mom in Utah...we decided to attempt to fly with her. I'm unsure of the protocol of this though. I've never flown with someone who is wheelchair bound, nor do I know what to do/say when buying tickets. (Also, the nursing home is once again refusing to sign off on her medical leave to fly...again...) My mom does have a license, but it expires Jan 19th, 2014. This is another reason why my sister is pushing for that timeline.
We simply cannot afford to pay someone else to transport her. My brother has completely washed his hands of my mom, ever since she left the state (he wouldn't even sign her out of the old nursing home). I can't even afford the gas to relocate her, OR plane tickets either.
Before you ask how MUCH my family has been involved, I will tell you. 0% I had to resign my mom up for medicaid, medicare, and fix her social security all by myself. It took 6 months just to get her medical records from the previous nursing home, even though my brother lives within 10min drive. When we originally relocated her, she didn't have a wheelchair. We managed to get her pretty set up here, and visit a lot... I had no idea what I was doing when she first got out here. It was pretty bad, and we are trying to get out of this situation. Once she's relocated, it will take a LOT of stress off our backs.
Does anyone have any suggestions when it comes to flying with a crippled person, or any other ideas in regards to relocating her? Another idea maybe? Also, am I just being hormonal when I think what my sister is asking of me is TOO much?