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Mom would probably be all right with having someone stay at our house with her when I work overnight, but she complains that they talk too much and keep her awake. She has mid-stage Alzheimer's. I hired a sleepover person a few weeks ago, and she IS very chatty, but its no good if she doesn't know when to shut up and let mom rest. I'd like to hire someone else to stay in the back bedroom of our house, who will only engage with mom if its obvious that she needs help with anything. Someone mom may not even know is there half the time. Mom hates the intrusion, but if the worker just chats with her for a short time and then let's mom be for the rest of the night, that's what would be ideal. Does this sound crazy?

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Hi - since you are not there to know what's really going on, should you discuss it with this too-chatty gal and see what she says is going on during this time? It'd be good to know if your mom is actually up and walking around, or calling out or something and this gal is trying to keep her calm. Just a thought!
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A nightshift caregiver should know that their responsibilities include getting your mom ready for bed, helping your mom into bed and getting her comfortable, asking your mom if there's anything she needs before she goes to sleep and then turning off the light so your mom can go to sleep. A caregiver that stands around and chats with your mom while your mom is ready to go to sleep may need to be reminded that your mom needs her sleep and that after your mom is in bed she is not to be disturbed unless your mom needs something in the middle of the night.

Wanting someone who will just exchange calm, nighttime pleasantries with your mom for a few minutes before your mom goes to sleep should be the norm and does NOT sound crazy. A chatterbox at night is crazy.
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I agree with Zdarov as well. My Mother has temporal lobe dementia. Delusions are part of the disease. I am with my Mom 24/7 and she routinely reports events, conversations, situations that are nonexistent. One wants to believe one's parent, but it is often fallacy to believe everything that is said as truth. Have a talk with the caregiver.
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hi, just a thought why don't you put in wireless cameras from lorex they use electrical outlet and have a app for your cell phone to keep and eye on your mom and the caregiver the camera has a microphone so you can hear and talk to whose in the room. I did this with my aunt and momma to keep and eye on them when I had to go to the store and run errands quickly. My local police said it was alright I was breaking any privacy issues.
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Tell the hired person not to talk to your mother unless needed.
Most caregivers talk too much and that is confusing for persons with memory loss, as with your mother.
As a biz owner, I find those hiring a caregiver for the first time are often reluctant to instruct new caregivers about their responsibilites. But caregivers are not mind readers and many would prefer knowing your preferences than not. If you feel uncomfortable speaking directly to the caregiver, then write them down or type them out. Then you can go over the instructions with the caregiver.
Kudos to you for posting your question.
best-ann
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Liver lips write out the instructions for your caregivers and go over them with each new hire. Be very specific, i.e. don't enter room between 10pm and 6am unless mom calls or 2am change Depends and reposition mom things like that.
Many caregivers have very little formal training although they may have been doing the job for a long time so it is necessary to remind them to make sure medications are actually taken and things like drinks are within reach.
A hidden camera is a very good idea and make sure you leave snacks and drinks for the caregiver. Attention to their needs will get better care of Mom.
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liverlips486, you had mentioned the caregiver has use of the back bedroom.... usually when someone hires an overnight caregiver, that caregiver stays awake the whole evening, they never go to bed, or fall asleep at any time.

My Dad had a very catty Caregiver during one of the shifts, but I don't know if this caregiver was just chatty with me and much quieter when I wasn't there. Caregivers like to ask their patient questions to engage them in conversations, to find out their likes and dislikes, to learn about their past which most elders love to talk about.

I wouldn't even mentioned the talking to the Caregiver [it might not be what your Mom said], but would post a guideline for the caregiver to follow.... such as what time Mom likes to get ready for bed, if she likes to have the TV on before she falls asleep, if she likes the room dark or likes to have a low wattage lamp on, etc.

My Dad had a routine, the Caregiver would help him get up the stairs, Dad would take a shower, then get into his pj's, and would watch TV in bed until he finished the nightly news. After Dad was in bed, the Caregiver would do downstairs to watch TV or read, and since Dad's bedroom was right over the living room the Caregiver could hear the floor creak if Dad got out of bed. Then he/she would go upstairs and ask if Dad needed any help.
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Your mom may hear talking in the 'twilight' before sleep that is keeping her awake, but it may not be the caregiver. Just this weekend, my neighbor told the story of her mother-in-law believing that the woman in the apartment downstairs was playing loud music and keeping her awake. Well, one night the mother in law heard the music, got up, dressed herself and went over to confront the downstairs lady. While the mother in law was waiting for her noisy neighbor to come to the door.... she saw the neighbor coming up the walk returning from an outing! Fortunately, the mother-in-law was 'with it' enough to realize she was mistaken....but that had an unfortunate side effect in that she suddenly realized she was suffering from dementia. It was upsetting for her.
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One last thought from me . Is the caregiver talking on her phone the whole time. that would surely drive Mom crazy.
I too would like to think paid caregivers would stay awake all night but the truth is that many don't.
If Mom can't summon help consider a bed alarm so that the caregiver is alerted if Mom tries to get out of bed
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No one caring for a dementia patient as a professional caregiver should be sleeping period. Its different if its your parent, but if you are hired to work the night shift you better be awake. If you cant handle the night shift without sleeping its not for you. The liability is to great and you are not doing your job. That being said you should not be engaging your client so you can stay awake. They need to sleep you are there to monitor them not to entertain them or them you. Have a conversation with the caregiver express your concerns and if things dont change make a switch, she works for you, she needs to follow your direction.
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