They are 85, live in AZ but have been in Midwest for Summer. His side of family supports whatever he wants but my family sees our mother needs more structure as she deals with early signs of dementia. My daughter was going over 3 days a week to help until he essentially asked her to stop. He means well and loves our mother but his decision making is lacking. He is a terrible communicator and anytime the conversation turns to a subject that makes him uncomfortable he completely shuts down. The situation needs to change and I don't know how to do it in such a way that he can support it. They move back to AZ soon and no family is out there to help.