I sleep in a bed in the room with her now, but if we get the hospital bed there won't be room for my bed. I think she is afraid something might happen to her if I'm not in the room with her and if she called me I might not hear her. I told her we could get a baby monitor and put in her room so I could hear her if she needed me. She still refuses to get the hospital bed. I think it would really help her back as she stays in that recliner day and night. Does anyone else have to deal with someone so stubborn? I have to fight with her about everything (meds. etc.) .

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It's very hard to have age and illness take away one's ability to function normally. I think your mother is fighting the aging process by denying that she needs these things. Understanding this may won't change your situation but it may help you cope with more compassion.

Try not to use words like "baby monitor". That may seem like no big deal to you, but just saying that they have new monitors for elders may make a difference. Perhaps if you said "adjustable bed" rather than hospital bed, it may help. You get the drift.

If your mom hasn't been tested for dementia, she maybe should be. Dementia can cause people to act out of character. However, she may just be fighting each and every step because she doesn't want to give in. It's horrible for you, but if you can find some things where she can make choices (such as she takes some meds), it may help.

Good luck. Your have your hands full.
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If you have a good relationship, it might make the difference if you tell her that getting these things will help YOU help her. Sleeping with her every night is going to create a level of stress you won't be able to live with. YOU need your sleep and some private time. If you're in the early stages of caregiving, you may or may not have experienced the 24/7 effect. As most everyone on this forum will tell you, it's unsustainable.

One suggestion, albeit a bit questionable (it all depends on your relationship, her state of dementia and her physical health), just do it. We had to get bedrails, because she kept trying to climb out of bed and sustained falls. She HATED them at first .. within a relatively short period of time, they became a friend and safety net.

Another possibility: make the suggestion that she TRY it. "Let's see if it's not more comfortable. Give it a month and we'll talk about it then."
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