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If I make an appt, she calls me the morning of and makes up an excuse not to go.

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Ckf, I'm in the same position as you. Father cannot pee without the catheter. He already accidentally pulled it out. His regular doctor is only able to do house visits because when father got released from the hospital, they requested home care visits with the nurse. Thru the nurse, father was able to persuade the doctor to do home visits. She is now trying to get him to see a urologist to find out why he cannot pee without the catheter. He Refuses to go!! Every day, I keep trying to reason (sigh...useless to reason with someone who is unreasonable or going down the senile road!) with him on why he needs to see the specialist. If you figured out how to get your mom to go, maybe I can try the same with my father.
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Thank you!
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Ckf, I did a quick search on this site (top right) using "refuse medical help". I got several hits. But there was an article on this site on what you are asking about. Please click on the link below. It will give you some options. Plus if you do the Search on the top right, you can quickly open whichever thread/discussion that you think applies to your situation. I hope it helps you.

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/aging-parent-refuses-go-to-doctor-133384.htm
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I have found the hard way that if a parent refuses to go, then there's nothing you can do. Well, for me, there was nothing that I can do. In April, father was coughing a lot. Then it got more violent coughing. I saw the color of his phlegm changing and knew that he now had pneumonia. I tried reasoning with him that he needed medical help because he now had an infection in his lungs. He refused.

I called 911. They were not going to send an ambulance since he refuses medical help. But, I practically begged the 911 operator to atleast TRY. So, they sent an ambulance, the EMS asked father questions, and left without even treating him.

I then called APS (adult protective services). I explained the situation and she said that there's nothing they can do. She gave me the phone number of the elder care lawyer. I called, came in and got interviewed by the office manager. She told me the same thing that APS told me. That there's nothing they can do. So, I went to his medical insurance to see if the doctor can do a house call. I was Very Firmly told that their doctors do not do housecalls and will not do any medical diagnosis without seeing the patient. I was given a phone number..... back to APS!

In the end, I was told by several posters here that I just need to wait it out. That father won't be able to handle the pain. Sure enough, 3 days later, he said that he cannot handle the painful breathing and struggling to breathe. He had pneumonia. His left lung was almost filled with fluid. He spent 2 weeks at the hospital. I told him if that he had just gone to the clinic when I told him to, he wouldn't have had to spend 2 weeks in the hospital. Still Refuses to Seek Medical Intervention.

Hopefully someone here will give you pointers on what helped them to get their parent to see the doctor.
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