My momlives in pacific palisades and happened to be in rehab at time of fires her apartment is ok but landslides created issues and she can’t live there. AL shouldn’t have released her but she went home tonher caregivers house and it was an unregulated mess. Lots of weird stuff happening but I linked her to assisted living and they are trying to get her in w them. AL saying they need a guarantor? I know what that means but im not willing to do that. Mom is secretive w me and we live in opposite sides of country and dont really get along. But im concerned for her wellbeing and that shes making bad judgements. Is a guarantor a California thing? She seems to think she’s going to go back to her apartment, I do not think that will be possible given her physical condition. But it is hard to navigate options with her being so stubborn and me being on the other side of the country. They did an assessment tonight at the nursing home because they are really trying to help her out. They said she has sharp as a tack and I agree. That’s just making it harder. It sounds like I will be liable if she can’t pay her bills and she has never shared her banking information with me. Why would I get myself involved in something like this?
I would not recommend signing up to be personally responsible for her AL bill. That's what a guarantor is, the responsible party at the end of the day.
Sometimes the only thing we can do with a parent like yours, and mine, is stand out of the train wreck.
Best of luck, you now belong to the waiting for a crisis to change everything club.
It's impossible to parse out what's going on here but one thing is for certain--you do NOT want to sign as guarantor of anything as you cannot conceivably BE the guarantor of anything. You aren't even THERE. You are completely and 100% without power.
Reading definition of guarantor should be enough to scare the pants right off anyone!
This is it:
"Duties of GUARANTOR:
To guarantee to pay a borrower's debt if the borrower defaults on a loan obligation.
To pledge their assets as collateral.
To ensure that the first party (the principal debtor) keeps their promises to the second party and takes on liability if the first party fails to keep these promises.
To be held liable for the debt of the borrower, which remains unpaid. The extent of the liability of the guarantor may be limited in the contract."
I would step away and stay away from all this. There's no in-between here. Either you take on POA and attempt to enforce some sanity here, or you do not. For myself, I wouldn't.
If Mom is so sharp she takes care of her own bills . She’s secretive and you don’t want to be on the hook for her bills .
Like already said below it will take a crisis to force a change .
It seems to be a thing in high cost of living areas. NY and California fall into that category.
I would have a hard time agreeing if the person was secretive or not forthcoming with their finances.
I am also a co owner of her accounts so if I need to I would pay her rent I have full disclosure of where her funds went.