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She is 83 years old, 325 lbs. diabetic with bad knees in a power chair. She fell recently and we had to call EMS to get her up off the floor. Since then, she can barely walk. Going to the toilet is a major event. She hasn't showered in 4 days and smells bad. I sponged her off this morning, but she really needs to bathe. I feel that if she had in-home care, she would listen to them where she won't listen to me. She woke me at 3:30am to help her to the bathroom. I had to clean her up and the toilet. It is only going to get worse. We have applied for VA benefits, but I understand that can take 6 months or more. Any ideas?

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I agree with what is written. If her doctor orders it, Medicare would pay for about 10 weeks of PT, OT, and bathing. Your mother needs more than that. You can hire a home care worker to come in to bathe her -- either dry or wet shower. Given her size, however, many will probably not feel qualified to do it. Sometimes a problem can be beyond us and we have to look for outside resources. I agree with what pstiegman wrote that it is time to consider a nursing facility.
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I agree with pstieg. After speaking with Dr; he can give you best prognosis. You could consider some outside care with hiring CNA or someone to help several hrs but this can add up. If you can manage during the day, then maybe consider just having someone overnight; but again that can be pretty expensive and you still have to manage the rest of the time. Care facilities can be better and she might qualify for some VA or other financial assistance. You have to research some care facilities and speak with their director/admissions and see what aid she qualifies for.
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Home health aides are ordered by the MD. Give him a call and discuss the changes. If she is no longer ambulatory, cannot cook, cannot bathe, she really needs a nursing home.
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