Taking her home will be most difficult due to her conditions. You'll need help to look after her.
Please read some other posts on this site that will inform you about the difficulties you'll be dealing with if mom is in your home. Lot's of people think "Oh, I love her so much, I'll go through whatever needs to be done to take care of mom." But at that point they have NO idea what that encompasses and have NO training for what lies ahead.
I'd suggest doing anything but taking mom to your home because once she's there, it will be hard to get her out. You might resent having no life of your own, the smells, the demands, and being on duty 24/7.
Work with the social workers and the discharge planners. They will speak with you about the options. You can ask them questions and they will answer them for you.
Are the hospital people telling you that Mom cannot return home to live??
What reasons are the discharge planners giving you that Mom can't go home??
If Mom requires help at home, and is on Medicare only (not medicaid) she will likely not have any medical financial coverage for this; can she afford help?
We need more info. Why was Mom in the hospital? Why was she discharged to you and not sent to Rehab or her home.
Doesn't seem to be working her living with you and thats OK. IMO, two women can't live in the same house when one of the woman owns it. Is Mom capable of living on her own? Can she shower and dress herself? Cook meals. What are you willing and not willing to do for her. Maybe call Office of Aging and have them evaluate Mom's house for safety. Like having bars in her shower. The need of a shower chair. If Mom is low income, maybe Medicaid can help with an aide.
If Mom needs 24/7 care, then she can't go home without that care being set up. If she can afford it, maybe an Assisted Living. If not, then its Long-term care with Medicaid helping to pay for her care.
"I am caring for my mother nell, who is 87 years old, living in my home with age-related decline, cancer, incontinence, mobility problems, and sleep disorder."
If you are not her PoA and she has no diagnosis of cognitive impairment, then she can check herself out of the hospital and go back to your home since that is (probably) her legal residence.
The question is not can you take her back to your home, but *should* you take her back to your home? She sounds like a very ill person and you eventually won't be able to give her enough help without it costing you your own physical and mental health.
Is she currently in rehab? Why was she hospitalized in the first place? More info would be very helpful.
Mom did not "need" to come to your home. The discharge was allowed BECAUSE she had a SAFE place to be discharged to. There must have been a reason she needed a safe discharge to someplace other than her home. Does she need help? Is her home safe? Can she care for herself? Does she have a formal, legal, medical diagnosis of dementia or any condition that would prohibit her from being discharged to home?
You say she "need help" (sic) What type of help does she need? She can pay caregivers to help with whatever needs to be done. If the reason she needs help is due to a temporary condition (restricted movement from surgery or a bone fracture) once that has been resolved she can be on her own, a PT or her doctor would determine that.
If you provide more information it might help.
If the discharge was recent you can contact her doctor or the Social Worker at the hospital and inform them that you can not safely care for mom and that you need to have her placed in Rehab for her safety. From that point the determination will be made if she can be safely discharged to her home or if she needs Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing for a longer duration. But you have to stress this...say "I can not SAFELY care for mom in my home, her care is more than I can manage"
Your profile says that your Mother wants to move in with you, but she wants “help on her terms”. This is a VERY bad idea. If M moves into your house, it NEEDS to be on your terms. From the beginning, and no ifs and buts. Wherever it starts it WILL get worse, and you are likely to find it almost impossible to live your own life in your own house.
Please read some other posts on this site that will inform you about the difficulties you'll be dealing with if mom is in your home. Lot's of people think "Oh, I love her so much, I'll go through whatever needs to be done to take care of mom." But at that point they have NO idea what that encompasses and have NO training for what lies ahead.
I'd suggest doing anything but taking mom to your home because once she's there, it will be hard to get her out. You might resent having no life of your own, the smells, the demands, and being on duty 24/7.
Are the hospital people telling you that Mom cannot return home to live??
What reasons are the discharge planners giving you that Mom can't go home??
If Mom requires help at home, and is on Medicare only (not medicaid) she will likely not have any medical financial coverage for this; can she afford help?
Doesn't seem to be working her living with you and thats OK. IMO, two women can't live in the same house when one of the woman owns it. Is Mom capable of living on her own? Can she shower and dress herself? Cook meals. What are you willing and not willing to do for her. Maybe call Office of Aging and have them evaluate Mom's house for safety. Like having bars in her shower. The need of a shower chair. If Mom is low income, maybe Medicaid can help with an aide.
If Mom needs 24/7 care, then she can't go home without that care being set up. If she can afford it, maybe an Assisted Living. If not, then its Long-term care with Medicaid helping to pay for her care.
"I am caring for my mother nell, who is 87 years old, living in my home with age-related decline, cancer, incontinence, mobility problems, and sleep disorder."
If you are not her PoA and she has no diagnosis of cognitive impairment, then she can check herself out of the hospital and go back to your home since that is (probably) her legal residence.
The question is not can you take her back to your home, but *should* you take her back to your home? She sounds like a very ill person and you eventually won't be able to give her enough help without it costing you your own physical and mental health.
Is she currently in rehab? Why was she hospitalized in the first place? More info would be very helpful.
The discharge was allowed BECAUSE she had a SAFE place to be discharged to.
There must have been a reason she needed a safe discharge to someplace other than her home.
Does she need help? Is her home safe? Can she care for herself? Does she have a formal, legal, medical diagnosis of dementia or any condition that would prohibit her from being discharged to home?
You say she "need help" (sic)
What type of help does she need?
She can pay caregivers to help with whatever needs to be done.
If the reason she needs help is due to a temporary condition (restricted movement from surgery or a bone fracture) once that has been resolved she can be on her own, a PT or her doctor would determine that.
If you provide more information it might help.
If the discharge was recent you can contact her doctor or the Social Worker at the hospital and inform them that you can not safely care for mom and that you need to have her placed in Rehab for her safety.
From that point the determination will be made if she can be safely discharged to her home or if she needs Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing for a longer duration.
But you have to stress this...say "I can not SAFELY care for mom in my home, her care is more than I can manage"
IF “she need help” you may find that she’s better off in her own home, and hiring “helpers” at what ever level SHE NEEDS to be there.
If she enters YOUR home, YOU become the 24/7/365 “help”, and it WILL be on HER terms.
Good luck with this.