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She is having all of her organs repositioned and propped up. The doctors instructions offer 3 types of pain relievers and explain many types of complications. She is claiming that she will be able to take care of herself and that she doesn't want help from either someone in her family or a professional. If you have had experience yourself or know someone who has, please let me know how long it took to feel good and when the patient was able to solely take care of themselves.

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If she has traditional surgery that involves cutting abdominal muscles, she's going to need a lot of help. She will probably be unable to get out of bed or a chair without help for a while. If she has the laparoscopic or transvaginal procedure, the recovery will be quicker but she'll probably still appreciate the company.

I agree with vstefans, just make plans and be there whether she thinks she will need help or not.
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She doesn't *want* to need help, but I would just quietly make plans to be there. And then if she doesn't need you (much), great.
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Hi...I had surgery for bladder suspension 2 years ago. Absolutely do not let them use mesh. There are many lawsuits. They can also prop things up with a rock like thing called a pessary. This works for some people but mine kept falling out. After my surgery I was sent home with a catheter in and I was not strong enough to change the connection from the s aller daytime bag to the larger nightime bag. My son had to do this for me. Very embarrasing. I also had alternating chills and sweats. Had catheter for a week. Also a week after the surgery I woke up and was completely paralyzed from the waist down for about an hour, no explanation. I had to have this same surgery 20 years ago when I was 60 with no problems, but age isnt as tolerant. Also ever since the surgery I have had uncontrollable diarrhea, that is until a month ago now I am constipated. This has been lifechanging but what do you do? Good luck! Make sure you have a good doctor!!! Always!
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I think you can assume that a 79 year-old, regardless of how healthy or independent she is now, will need lots of help following surgery.
Fortunately, you can enlist the aid of the social worker and doctor at the hospital. They can't release her unless she has someone to take care of her or she can take care of herself. Be sure to have conversations with them about your mom's resistance to care and spell out that she won't have support if she returns home alone. There's a good chance they'll give her a stint in post-op rehab anyway, but there, too, make sure she's truly able to care for herself when she leaves. If she fakes them out and goes home alone without care, she could start an downward spiral of repeat hospitalizations. At her age, she's in the danger zone for that.
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