One of my mother's most used .. um... phrases is that she feels 'guilty' for nearly everything. If I bring up a situation where I need space and time to do my own thing, she gets tearful and whiney about how I should stop saying that because it makes her feel guilty (all the while not wanting to moderate her behviour to change that).
Apart from the obvious fact she is using that as emotional blackmail to get her own way, I think to a degree she probably does feel some guilt for demanding my attention all the time (she doesn't and specific disability, or dementia) because she is lonely (even though we live together).
But when he get into arguments as a result, she tends to say some nasty stuff about how I don't really care about her and I am only living with her out of duty. I am wondering if she is using that not to hurt me, but to stop her feeling guilty and in a way justifying her behviour to herself, that she is right and I am wrong. Making me out to be be the bad guy and therefore she feels she has a right to feel angry that she is not having a happy life, actually due to general age-related issues and her own issues.
I would like to state that she has never been an abusive person, but her only mathod of getting her own way and repremanding me when I was a kid was emotional blackmail. Guilt issues also run in her side of the family.
She's not a bad person, I think she is very scared, that she doesn't think she has long left and I suspect she is behaving like a cornered animal, with the perceived danger being of her own making.
It's heartbreaking to watch, but does anyone else think that could be a reason she could say such things?