Mom moving in with me. Any financial advice? - AgingCare.com

Mom moving in with me. Any financial advice?

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Mom is moving in with me (and my family). Currently she needs at least 20 hours a day care, which I am arranging. And that will increase to 24 too soon. What is a fair amount to pay me for managing this around-the-clock care and everything else for her? What about room and board? She will have her own separate bedroom and bathroom? What about food? Most meals will be with the family; however, she eats practically all day long and requires constant snacks, etc., which I don't buy for the rest of us.

Thank you for your advice. Oh, it is private pay and she does have the assets.

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Sorry that family issues prevented you from doing what you wanted. I understand as I have been fighting a sibling for years to keep my parents (now just my Mom) with me in my home. So far I have been successful but it has cost a great deal of emotional turmoil. Wishing you the best!
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Sometimes folks ask questions that can only be answered by a lawyer or a doctor. Maybe they just want some feed back. I live alone, with over 100 folks. Funny!!! But I don't go out of my apartment except for a couple of things. Check my mail is one. I email a lot of people, so I don't get much mail except bills.
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Thanks, everyone, for the advice. The family drama (from siblings) was too much to deal with,miso we are now moving Mom to an ALF. Am sure she will be better off there....at least until we work thru all the other issues. IF we work thru them.

Again, thanks for the advice. This forum has been a God-send.
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Stop, check out the law in your state before doing anything. It is frowned upon for a family member to get paid. They go in families houses and see what is their and what is your, so they can sale your loved one stuff in put it in a trust. Write down everything they are moving in with. The rules are different when it come to abuse with monies and health. Their are also law if your parent or grandparents owe the government monies they can take it from you(2008 in farmer bill ) On top of the most state freeze monies of your loved ones to investigate you and they can just you care POA and not financial POA if you talk about you getting paid. First keep a log in so much detail that they can't question the work that you are doing. Most judges feel it is your job to take care of family but they will pay someone 200 to 300 dollars an hour and if your loved get hurt in their care they will not go to jail like you would.Good luck
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I am dpoa and have been to multiple lawyers just to make 110% sure that my caregivers contract is legit and it is. You are to be compensated if you are doing the care in your home. If you dont want to, just leave it and once your Mom passes you can divide it with your siblings who havent helped, ya right! I would look on care.com and see what is in your area for private pay and agencies. I interviewed a young woman who charged $600 a week for live-in care and had been doing it for years. There is an agency in CT that has african women who move in and charge 50k a year and from what I hear they are the sweetest and cant do enough to make them happy. I pay $15 an hour for morning help but if its a full day, etc they normally take less like $12.
You can ask SS as they allow for you to take in rent for a parent from their ss. I would go to a lawyer and get this all settled before the sibling war begins. And, bless you for taking your Mom in. I took in my Mom 7 years ago and she is spoiled beyond spoiled with love, warmth, cleanliness and home made pureed foods. I say P-U to healthy foods, I always give mom what she loves, after all, shes in her 90's! She cant talk or walk now but she sure smiles and laughs with us, especially when we sing. good luck, you'll be proud of yourself indeed.
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In California, private home care runs around $25.00 hourly!
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I agree with the person who said give her grapes, etc. No unhealthy snacks.
No telling what is in fruit bars and such. Fruit is good, Maybe some raw vegies if she can chew them and not choke. If you are the sole provider, tell you other family to put up or shut up.
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For those who asked I am hiring in home care using a service called Homework solutions, they dopayroll, taxes and i believe background checks. These services exist for people hiring nannies for kidsbut also work for elder caregivers. I was using a service but found we were still doing alot of admin work for 24-7 care when you have a team of people. Anyway it takes some organization and record keeping is important- I also have a difficult sibling who is obsessed with the money. The deciding factor is the quality of people you get and if you can pay a few dollars more than the agencies then sometimes you can get people that were trainedbyagencies and are licensed. If you are home during the day you can supervise at first until you feel comfortable. Despite what i read here warning against it I would not put my mother in a facility unless i had to medically and i think it sets a good exmple for kids who will take care of you later. Of course, I am fortunate that my mom has resourcesbecause i could not do it myself, I am still working at home.I also know she is happier in my home, she spent some time in elderly independent places and hated it. Now that my father is gonethe caregivers give her quality one on one attention which she needs.
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I'd like to add to KSeale's comment, what I was told by mom's estate attorney (TX) was that I as DPOA or as MPOA can be paid a reasonable amount to manage mom's affairs. BUT the "reasonable" amount is based on your community standards for what is done and ALSO very interdependent on the DPOA/MPOA's education and profession. So if you are a CPA and do financials for mom you can pay yourself at the same invoice rate as you would another client; ditto for other professionals with some sort of set hour or day rate. If you have a MSW or MPH or other health care professional degree, you can pay yourself a professional consulting rate for overseeing her health care within your MPOA as well.

If you have a business, then you can invoice it and have mom pay the biz for the services too at the usual billing rates. But if you just have a limited education and your max hourly wage is like $ 12 an hour working retail then that ($ 12) is what is reasonable for you to be paid without getting into gifting transfer penalty issues for Medicaid if your parent ends up needing to apply for Medicaid anytime within the next 5 years even if you have a service contract between you & your parent. Whatever the case you need to pay taxes on the income paid.

kdcm - so who has the DPOA & MPOA for your mom? If she is going to live with you, you really need to have this done naming you. Really schedule an elder law visit in the very near future and get these done along with any updating of mom's will (a codicil) or any other legal documents that would be a good thing to have on hand for mom. My mom's attorney had mom do in addition to the usual ones a "Declaration of Guardianship In Lieu of Incapacity" done naming me - what he said often happens is that the elder in a fit of pique cause they didn't get their way or under influence of others, will rescind your DPOA and then you can use this to show mom's intention for guardian as you are going to have to go the guardian route to get back control. Its a trump card for you to have on hand. Now for the attorney costs, Mom pays for all this from her funds too. If you anticipate sibling issues down the road, perhaps have another sibling be the one to go with mom & you to the attorney visit as well. Whatever the case, the attorney will have both you & your sibling sit in another room while they speak with your mom at some point in all this. You say that mom has the funds to private pay for care - well I hope you are right on that. But my experience is that IF they live long enough, they will run out of money unless they are generationally wealthy individuals and the caregiver will run out of steam and the elder will go into a facility. At up to 15K a month for places, they will need mid6 figures to be able to pay for care & caregivers for just a few years without any worry of running out of funds. If mom doesn't have this can family be able to private pay for care or they will have to apply for Medicaid?? The 5year look-back & documentation rules for Medicaid are pretty unforgiving to anything that can be viewed as gifting. Please look hard at mom's finances to see the reality of what she has and her ability to liquidate it to pay for care if need be.
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I am POA and my mother pays a certain amount monthly to help with the mortage and utilities. We pay caregivers directly through a service that handles payroll and taxes and I am on her bank account so make periodic deductions online for these services.We buy food for her throughMagic Kitchen, gourmet frozen meals and snacks from the grocery. It seems to work so far.
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