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Background:
I moved my mother from 500 miles away to 1 mile away so I can keep an eye her.
Senior independent living.. She always spent weekends with us. Then it was apparent that her dementia was getting worse so I moved her to an assisted living facility. As her dementia got worse they said they couldn't handle her anymore. So instead of putting her into full time nursing home I moved her in with my wife and I.
My wife is a Saint.
I now have mom going to a dementia/ adult day care facility Mon - Fri.
She spends nights and weekends here.
Fortunately we can afford to have mom at home. (it is mentally taxing as you all know with personal hygiene issues, dressing her, feeding, etc.)
I was thinking that she could pay some sort of rent. Not to "pay" us for caring for her , but more of a legal way to help spend down her assets. Yes we now pay more for food, laundry, utilities, etc. She will be in a nursing home soon enough and she will be spending down until title 19 kicks in, so why not have her help out financially if it is legal to do so?
Is this OK? Does anyone else do this?
Thanks.

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Logically, you could assess her one third of the rent and utilities, providing it does not exceed the local average cost of living. You would have to keep careful records, and always keep her money in a separate account.
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Thank you for your answers.
Geewiz, I asked the assisted living facility if mom could move into their nursing home (attached) facility at some future date when I moved her out. I just didn't want mom to move into a full blown nursing home while she has some marbles left. When she does not recognize me and her motor skills deteriorate I will make the move then. So I guess I have "invested" money into their system. It is also a non-profit facility and my priest is on their board..so I have a place in mind.
Her income now almost covers her day care bills as she has two pensions plus SS. So she needs to spend down some money. She will still be able to afford a couple years in a nursing home with her assets and income. With the 5 year look back there are not a lot of options to legally transfer funds. Rent would be one of them I am guessing.
As for siblings... I have an older sister who is useless.
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Presumably, the Adult day care is being paid by your Mom's resources. Five days a week has to be fairly expensive, yes? While you may 'legally' be able to have her contribute to household expenses, I'm not sure what that accomplishes for you or her. In my area, the 'decent' nursing homes won't take new placements that can't afford a reasonable amount of time at full pay. Ditto for Memory care assisted living. One such example of a memory care AL I researched was that after 2 years of full pay, they would accept medicaid payments. The idea of spending down assets before understanding what the nursing home selection will be seems to be putting the proverbial 'cart before the horse'. Also, do you have siblings that may have something to say?
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Have her pay a set amount monthly in utilities. Make sure the checks come from her account. As long as she doesn't have any other properties she's paying for it shouldn't be questioned by medicaid. I agree your wife is a "saint"..
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