Moved Mom into ALZ Memory Assisted Living.. last Monday 15th. The 1st few days- almost entire week- I grieved like a death.. I went everynight.. 20 miles (one way) after work.. saw her for about an hour to two before bed-- tucked her in.. I know.. not helping her or me.. deal.. but.. we have lived together for over 23 years..since 90'. Its deafening silence at home.. her presence being gone was just like death to me.. Even tho I know she is 20 miles away.. And each day she is literally wearing herself out looking for me.. in down time.. asking everyone and wandering the halls-- by the time I see her after dinner she is totally wiped out. Emotionally & Physically. I have been calming her in her room during our visit-- we look at pictures, play music, watch a movie.. Then get ready for bed.. Brush teeth, get jammies on.. all the things I did at home with her everynight.. She had a Room Mate-- but they moved her out-- yesterday.. just when she was getting used to having someone.. no explanation from Admin yet.. except.. "We are working on a plan" let you know soon.. :-( anyhow.. this week the anxiety goes up and down for her and I.. I only feel good when I know she feels good- and is happy-- But problem is.. she dosent stay happy- and didnt when she was at home either.. some days worse with the disease, anxiety, nad increased confusion, poor hearing, ringing n the ears.. Poor thing.. I feel so sorry for ripping out her only routine that she fairly knew-- (Living at home with meand my Son) .. to the confusing and unknown.. I know the disease was progressing to beyond what I could handle at home.. My Son and I dealt with an in home caregiver for years.. I work full time and he is in High school- we were missing out on so much enriching things in life.. Its not easy.. either way her at home or her away-- Feels to me like I SHOT my foot.. now I want to see she is ok- so to do that I have to drive thru tons of traffic and miss donner with my Son.. and being home with him.. to go to her.. Before everyone was in same place.. I could multi task.. but one thing good is-- my visits are all about MOM and her needs.. where at home it was overwhelmingly busy to maintain house, life.. and she usually didnt get all her needs met-- especially the visiting/talking ones.. and now they are.. I suppose God's plan has to be better than mine.. and thats why he opened up every door- and barrier to get her into this facility.. It was private pay$ and My Mom is on Medicaid -- she is the 1st reciepent of a (Grant Waiver) Combo to pay the entire amount of her room/board.. She and I are paving the way here in our area of Virginia for ALZ Assisted Living care-- option -- rather than Nursing Home.. So, I thank God for this blessing.. and for the Season I have been relieved from and the new season she is being welcomed to.. She truly is a blessing of fresh sunshine into her new community... All Good.. But why do I still FEEL SO BAD... I know... give it more T-I-M-E... all my friends and support all say same thing.. and it has got better.. this week- until her room mate moved.. which upset her and then me.. Its a unique situation that she has lived with me so long.. anyone out there who's Mom has lived with them for 20+ yrs.. going thru this.. separation.. ?? Love to share with you.. and anyone else with caring thoughts... God Bless all of you caregivers.. of your Family... and remember-- take care of yourselves too !!