My mom (88) with dementia is in a memory care center on hospice and has stopped allowing care. Now what?

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Over the last few days she actually has taken her meds with sips of water but refused any other care, including eating. She has done this before, usually when she had a UTI, but this time seems different. (We are waiting for culture results.) I spent much of the day today with her; she slept most of the time. When she was awake, she was somewhat cognitive, but then drifted off to sleep again. Any thoughts about what we can expect? If she wants to go, I just want her to be a comfortable and as at peace as possible.

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Pam is right about the rallies.

I've read about the rallies, and witnessed that with my own Dad who was on Hospice and out of the blue Dad felt so much better, sat in his recliner, chatted with a visitor, and watched TV. The next two days he slept the whole time, then passed.
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Don't let the stop eating trouble you, she is more comfortable without food. Hospice will manage her pain meds. You may find she rallies for a day or two before she passes.
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Racal, it this turns out not to be a UTI, then it means your Mom's body is slowly shutting down. When your Mom refuses to eat, that means her stomach can no longer process food. Sleeping is the norm during this process.

Be glad your Mom is on Hospice, they will observe and do what is needed to make your Mom comfortable and pain free. The passing process could take a week or so, or be as early as the next day. Feel free to ask Hospice any question you have, you can call them 24 hours a day.

So sorry you are going through this, I know it isn't easy. Tell Mom it is ok for her to go, that you will be fine as she taught you how to take care of yourself. I said that to my Dad, and I believe it gave him permission to transition into the next life.

Some parents will transition while you are in the room with them, others will wait until you leave the room, so do not feel guilty if your parent does that. My Dad, who also was in Memory Care, waited until I went home for the night as he wanted to spare me the pain [I didn't think he would have gone that quickly].
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