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I placed mom in memory care as she had demonstrated she could no longer be left alone. (My partner and I live with her). She wouldn't allow a caregiver to come in and we couldn't take care of her 24/7. She has asked when she can come home and I advised it wasn't being discussed. I want to make sure this is not being considered being held against her will. She has also stated she ready to come home. Please advise. Thank you.

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Connie, sometimes with dementia when the patient says they want to go home, they might be referring to their childhood home, back when they were young, happy, and with a clear mind.
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My mother was not in memory care, but she did have vascular dementia and was not able to go home.

She often thought that she was able to go home, able to walked and had been walking although we all knew none of that was true. We tried having the nursing home social worker and others explain to her that in order to become a safe discharge she would need to work with PT and regain he ability to walk which she did not like hearing nor did she do.

My step-dad whose mind was not working to well at the time really thought that although he was in a wheel chair that he his helper who was not a CNA would be able to take care of her. Thankfully,she did not bring this up all of the time, but when she did I would just way that the doctor did not think she was a safe discharge.

What you are hearing is normal for someone with dementia and does not mean they are being held against their will. She's in memory care because that is the level of care that her dementia needs.

I would talk with the memory care place social worker to help you deal with this. I t is not an easy adjustment, but a reality one must come to terms with. It is possible that she's not even thinking of her most recent home, but is thinking about her childhood home.
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Good question. There are definitely some grey areas here. I would think with dementia you should be able to steer her away from thoughts of home with some therapeutic fibs, changing the subject and redirecting her interests. You should definitely have a chat with the staff. They see this often and can help you deal with it. I hope others chime in here. I'll be in this same situation with my dad soon.
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