How do we deal with Mom who cries and says we never call or come to visit?

im sorry this situation isnt funny but it reminds me of a humor skit on bob and toms radio show. an old man was cussing his worthless kids because they never called or visited. in the background you could hear the phone and doorbell ringing and people beating on the windows and doors.
seriously tho, most dementia sufferers have bad depression issues. i hear my mother sobbing several times a day out of frustration. not necessarily sad just frustrated and confused. she has always been a very analytical and brilliant person but now simple things overwhelm her.. she really doesnt understand dementia as brain matter loss. she doesnt really care if anyone visits or not. ill bet she gets a little pissy with the nurse eventually. she doesnt really like anybody telling her what to do..

Part of dementia is the loss of time frames and, of course, short term memory. There are times that I have to leave my Mom during a visit to talk with the health office, for instance. It's like a new visit when I return to my Mom's side! It's all part of the disease. I find that correcting my Mom and others in her memory care AL just doesn't work. If my Mom asks about one of my sibs, I say they are planning a visit shortly. If you need an excuse there are dozens: They had a cold and didn't want you to catch it or their was a big project at work that their boss was counting on them to finish; etc. You have to learn a series of white lies and extended truths. your Mom just wants to be sure she isn't forgotten. Perhaps you can call the person being discussed so your Mom can say hello right there and know the person is safe. Your sister has to be on the same page and not correct either. There are residents at my Mom's place crying since they have't seen their Mom is 2 weeks! I suspect the Mom is long gone based on the age of the resident them self! I would never say 'your Mom is dead or gone!". There are traffic delays holding them up is always a good excuse! You are traveling an interesting road with your Mom, she just needs to know you all care for her and love her. Good luck.

Hi Jims555, what about keeping a photo journal for her. With each visit take a picture. Maybe make each one a little different-like for Easter have her hold a big stuffed bunny that will help her remember the day. For the next regular visit bring a funny hat that you can have her wear for the picture( does she have a sense of humor at all?). That way when she says no one visited you can pull out the phopt journal and show her the picture and say"remember-we were here and you put on that big floppy hat and you looked so cute" . Maybe it will help jog her memory. Good luck!