I just moved in with her due to divorce. I have my own money just not enough to live on my own on top of paying her mortgage! My dad left her about 1.5 years ago due to her horrible behavior towards him, he does not help her with money because he has just enough to live on. He moved overseas. Sadly, yes my mother does have finaincial need, however I am rebuilding my own life after 10 years of marriage and I have very little income at this time. I have no family here to help me deal with her! Ever since I moved in with her, she is quite abusive towards me verbally and has tried to be physically also, though with little luck, as she is only 100 lbs soaking wet. She is a very bitter and unhappy person in general with multiple health issues and some disability. She is quite mobile though, can drive, and mentally sharp. Though she is great at playing "helpless" and needing attention, and she is great at creating drama. She is only 63 years old and I am 38 me being with her is not working. Only a few people in my life know of how she truly behaves, they want nothing to really do with her. She is great at hiding the fact that she is this way to the world. I rather think due to her behavior that she has BPD which is Borderline Personality Disorder, in fact I think she has had it all her life. It is however becoming more pronounced as she is getting older. My mother now uses threats, manipulation, guilt, playing the victim, random fits, verbal & physical abuse, and telling others untruths about me as a means to try to "get her way with me". She has told me the reason my dad left her was due to his Bi-Polar disorder and she frequently tells me that I myself am Bi-Polar and need to seek mental health help and need medication. I love my mother despite all of this, she is my mother, however I want out of her life! I can not live with her and take this abuse by her. I wanted to know if there was anything I could do while I am with her for my own sanity. I don't have insurance at this time, is there anywhere I can find free mental counseling to help cope with this? I wished there was a way to get her on medication or at least evaluated by a health care professional, like I said she does not think anything is wrong with her and will not go to a doctor for this as she feels I am the one with a problem. I know that as she ages she will get much worse and her behavior will become worse. Her own mother (my grandmother) is in her 90's and is a highly volitive and very nasty older person who makes her caregivers life in Europe a living hell! My grandmother btw has some mental health issues also, though is very stubborn and refuses medications to the point where doctors have a difficult time dealing with her. I would love some advice, in fact, any advice would be great! Is anyone else is this situation or am I alone here? If so, how do you deal with such a life? I really am at a point where I known I have to move out of her home as soon as I can and help her when I financially am able to do so. Thank you for reading and any possible advice!
The living together relationship doesn't seem to be working well, so the best thing you can do is get a job, if you don't already have one, and find your own place.
Set some specific goals and deadlines for yourself to move toward becoming financially independent, including taking a part-time job if necessary. It sounds as if you need to get out of this situation fairly quickly.
Are there any other siblings involved in your mother's care?
Assuming you're low income qualified, you might be able to find Section 8 housing in your area.
Was she living alone before you moved in? Perhaps that's the way she liked it and she resents not being alone any more. It does sound as though she would be happier that way.
That's no reflection on you, but something to consider as you move forward with plans to find your own place.
Good luck, and be sure to check out qualifying for low-income housing.
Sounds like your mother is either BPD or NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and people with these mental issues only get worse, especially once they've got you in their cluitches. Make a plan, work towards it and get out as quickly as you can.
While she may have mental illness she's not likely to seek help and borderline personality disorder can't be treated with medication.
Run!