Mom made a mess again. How can I get her to stop?

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I came home and found dishes in the sink, a mess on the counter, I went in the bathroom and found my toothbrush holder on the floor with my toothbrush thrown in another bin alongside the one I generally keep it in...She has a congested cough, yet wont take any otc cough med or even mucinex...dr. is aware..she even tried to refuse her insulin shot, but took it after I hinted she needed it...oh well, another day
hopefully it will be better..you never can tell from one day to the next but its just
her nastiness that really bugs me..although I act like it doesnt bother me, it does-alot-i just dont want her to know...Im sure she picks up on it.!

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Thanks guys it will not be long before I move out hopefully before Christmas..Im saving my pennies...The cough is better, and Ive decided not to sweat the small stuff..she is now on her own..I am only here for an emergency..if she chooses not
to take her medicine so be it...I just tell her doc and go from there. Its not worth stressing about anymore. And the messes..I leave them and she cleans them up as she knows I ve had enough!! On the days she works I chip in at night but thats about it. Thanks to this site I dont sweat the small stuff anymore...It is just not worth it. I can tell her attitude has changed as well..plus shes on her thyroid medicine as well so shes (should I say) calmer? Well, thanks for the great posts-All the best...sandiw50....
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If you had Twinkies from WWIi they would still be okay..I think that is probably guaranteed. Or how about the perfectly preserved hamburger from McDonalds found in a coat pocket years after it was purchased. Those raisins couldn't be TOO bad.
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Honey? Your mother should not be left alone? I have a similar problem, and there comes a time they need a caregiver that will watch her while you are out. Its best you keep things locked up so she dose not take them by accident. Has she been diagnosed with Alzheimer's? You may need to help her, and get proper care for her, do not wait to long that you get to frustrated, its not good for both of you.
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Also sand42 a crisis happens because there is no other solution until a crisis happens like mums docs and SS as long as im here they wont discuss anything about her,her future so yes i am waiting for a crisis to happen as theres nothing else i can do without help? mums doc says shes still "competent" and can make her own decisions? until they differ the hygiene not washing not taking her meds properly seems not an issue to them? its family that have to decide this in the end but my mum will not go into a NH so we wait for a crisis?
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Kazzaa, I have problems with my significant other when it comes to expiration dates. I will toss items out if they are a month over the expiration date, sometimes sooner.... my S/O if he had his way would hold on to the item for a several years. He says it won't kill you. Well, I not going to find out if they will or not. I don't want to be a story on "Mystery Diagnosis".
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Part of dementia is the loss of senses. Loss of smell and changed tastes is a big one. They can't smell BO, feces, urine, spoiled food. They can't see the outward signs of spoilage either.

When folks get to this point, they really truly require some outside help. It's going to get worse, not better. This is when the family needs to make decisions about whether it's safe for mom & dad to stay at home or what. If it's not feasible for family to pitch in, then someone needs to coordinate outside services, or start looking for an alternate residence. Don't wait for a crisis to start this thinking process, but way too many people do wait until a crisis happens out of denial.
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I know FF i told her the raisins were off but she said they wont kill you? Id rather not take the chance thanks! tried to stop her from eating them but no way? i threw the raisins out i honestly dont know where she got them probably at the back of the cupboard i must do some housekeeping? How can someone eat something way out of date? amazing how she has never been sick from this?
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kazzaa... thanks for the laugh about the raisins being from WWII, that was funny :)
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Yes my mum too was always neat and tidy i think looking back it started with hoarding then clutter then just a complete mess i reckon shes had dementia for a good few years before we noticed and thought it was depression. She will still not go into town without her make-up though ok so she forgets her teeth but her face is always done perfectly just dont look down at the odd shoes!!
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Went shopping today came home and mum decided to make scones? yes house is a right mess......flour on the kitchen floor SO flour footprints all over the house she thinks the downstairs toilet is leaking ITS NOT she just keeps peeing all over it now shes nagging me to get a plumber??
So frustrating i come home to cook dinner after a long day shopping getting her meds etc... then have to clean the whole house AGAIN! oh and i declined on the scones they look lovely BUT i saw the raisins were there from ww2!
Yep the day in the life of a "carer" oh and to add to my stress her latest thing now is taking the loo roll from the toilet? i shouldve known better to check BEFORE i pee so again have to come out of the loo with pants half down to look for loo paper! I asked her why she takes this and she denies all knowlegde says it wasnt her???????? i know its the cat??
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