She is always miserable, negative, uncooperative and has no quality of life. I stopped in to see Mom at AL today. When I walked in the room, the smell was horrible - she again had diarrhea - and it appeared she did it in her pants and all over the toilet. She had all the windows open and the air conditioner going full blast. Her slacks were in the garbage, her shoes and purse on the bathroom floor next to the toilet. (She has the runs a lot because she ruined her bowels with milk of magnesia) She has depends and pad, but doesn't use them all the time. She refuses help in AL, refuses to shower too.
Worst of all SHE LOST HER HEARING AIDS AGAIN! This is about the fifth time. These aids were only 3 months old - cost $3500. Just two weeks ago I took her to have them calibrated and he fixed all the problems. The AL aides put them in in the morning and take them out for her at night because she can't do it. NOW SHE IS COMPLETELY DEAF! Whining, crying, on and on. She has diarrhea when she gets upset. They said they have looked everywhere for them and can't find them, don't know how they could be lost between the time they put them in and took them out. Heaven knows how she could have lost them unless she took them out and threw them away herself. And what upset her the most? She didn't want them to know because she is afraid they will put her somewhere where she will have to do what they tell her to do. Of course she doesn't remember they were in her room yesterday, looking for them. And they were also in there because she had the runs then - claiming she was embarrassed because "it has never happened before" HAH!
She is in such a nice place and it is so sad she is totally uncooperative, we can't reason with her, she won't accept help) I'm so afraid she is going to be kicked out and end up in memory care walking around deaf and raising Cain because she is locked in and "taken care of".
We can't keep this up, buying hearing aids for her to throw away.
She is almost 101, mobile, able to dress, go to the bathroom, do things for herself. That is what makes this so frustrating, this is nothing new - even before the dementia she complained constantly, wouldn't accept help, etc.
This has not been a good day - just learned my dear, kind, wonderful brother-in-law is in hospice, dying of a brain tumor - a man who loved life and was loved by all. And here is my 101 year old mother - creating misery for herself and everyone around her, especially me - it doesn't seem fair that the one who lives is the one who is never happy.
I even brought my sweet puppy, who jumped up on the bed and walked up to her, wagging her tail and giving her a kiss - and she elbowed her out of the way.
This has not been a good day!