Follow
Share

Mom has lived with us since November 2018. Extended family and us plan to move her bedroom furniture to my house. We have to sell my mom's house, which my spouse and I own. First step is moving her bedroom furniture to her bedroom at our house. She has anosognosia and doesn't believe anything is different and that she's just visiting at our house. Two doctors have told her she must live with us or go to an Alzheimer’s group home.


Any suggestions to limit my mom's anger (anticipated) when we bring her furniture to our house. We have been told by every expert that she should not be allowed back at her house to choose things as they think she will 'loose it', and that she will insist on staying at her house--once there--and that we will have to forcefully taken back to my house. She constantly wants to go back to her house.

She doesn't have any money to buy new furniture.... But that's a creative idea... Thank you.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to BeeBeeL
Report

After a while she may not know any longer that she is not in her own house. It seems that you are not letting her in on what is really happening, which is good. I told my mom she was going to assisted living while I had surgery, which was partially true. She believed it at the time and has since become very comfortable in her new surroundings, not even remembering her house now. Taking her furniture is not a problem as far as I can see, as long as she is not present when it is moved in. It should look that it was always there.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to ArtistDaughter
Report
BeeBeeL Mar 25, 2019
Thanks for your thoughts. Very helpful. Yes, our hope is that she might be more content with her former bedroom recreated at our house.
(0)
Report
If you were to move her bedroom furniture into her room at your house, set it all up as close to identical as possible, while someone took her out for the day and distracted her would she notice and admit she was confused or maybe just accept it as "normal" she is in her house, her house with you.

While it isn't my first instinct we have learned that not preparing my mom for things too far in advance is much easier on her and sometimes a fib makes things easier for her too. Maybe telling mom you are bringing or moved if she asks, her furniture in because something major is being done to her other house (fumigating, major repairs...) and you didn't want the furniture ruined. Besides you thought she might be more comfortable sleeping in her bed anyway and it can easily be moved back when work is done and she moves again.This way you haven't said "where" she might move again ;).Some form of any of this perhaps, just an idea and you know her best.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Lymie61
Report
BeeBeeL Mar 25, 2019
Good advice. Thank you
(0)
Report
Would she understand that you have to sell her home that you own because you can no longer afford to maintain it now you are retired. That if she wants, you will be bringing her bedroom suite to her new bedroom.

She has ALZ so of course she can't understand what is going on. At 90, she has been uprooted from what she is familiar with. Is the bedroom suite that important. Do you need it? Do you see an AL in her future. Can you store some of her stuff. Like the bed set, a nice lounge chair. A side table, a bookcase and a few nick nacks in case a AL is needed.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report
BeeBeeL Mar 25, 2019
We don't need her furniture. But we hope it will seem like her home; we are doing this in hopes to make her more at ease. She really, really likes her own things.
But good to consider about future AL. Thank you.
(0)
Report
What if you don't bring her furniture? But maybe she can pick out new furniture and things for the "guestroom" (her room), and that way she doesn't have to see her things and maybe she will like the things she picks out?

Best wishes.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to smeshque
Report
BeeBeeL Mar 25, 2019
Good suggestions. But we and she don't have money for new furniture....
Thank you for replying.
(0)
Report

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter