During this time she gets very hard to talk to as she can not remember what she has said, and puts it back on me. I just walk away because she is always right. Once I do this she forgets and we go on to another subject...

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Does your mother have impairments that require caregiving? Dementia? Cancer? CPOD? What is her physical condition, besides the drinking? Did she drink that much before she moved in with you?

Does she spread the wine out over the day? Does she eat well? Is she a little bitty thing or a substantial woman? I guess no matter what she weighs she is consuming more than the "recommended for health" limits.

Is the loss of memory only after she has consumed a lot of wine, or does it happen early in the day, too? I wonder if the drinking could be masking symptoms of dementia.

Two different doctors have put the fear of dire consequences in me if I drink alcohol with the meds I take. OK. I miss it, but I gave up alcohol. On the other hand, my husband with dementia was told he could have 2 drinks a day even though some of the meds he was taking specifically said no alcohol. So, if your mother does take any medications I think I'd talk to the pharmacist and see if alcohol is a problem with any of them. If there is, is there any way to lessen the risk? For example, take the med x hours before having alcohol? If there is a potential interaction with her drugs, then I'd talk to her doctor. Is there some other medication that could be used?

I just don't think it is reasonable to think you can change your mother's drinking, unless she decides to change. So trying to lessen any risks may be the best you can do.

And certainly, walk away when she is belligerent or isn't making sense.
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We all know overindulgence in alcohol is not good for a person. But sometimes people who have a problem with it don’t realize it. Or they do and they just don’t care. Maybe Mom got “hooked” at a particularly trying time of her life and then wasn’t able to quit.

To be honest, she’s an adult. I worry she might be taking meds that would prove dangerous when mixed with alcohol. If she drinks within her home and doesn’t become physical with anyone else, there isn’t much you can do but monitor that she doesn’t fall and hurt herself or attempt to drive anywhere if she still drives. If you want to start WWIII, if you buy the wine for her, you could stop or buy smaller bottles.
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