My Mom lies to everyone about me. I am afraid of her lies. Any advice?

Gussie, has your mother been tested for dementia? That sounds like a symptom, and it isn't your mothers fault when she makes up stories, it's because her brain is confused.

Curious, what does your Dad say about this? Are there other things that your Mom is doing that seem off kilter that your Dad is noticing?

Walk? No. RUN. And don't look back.

She has not been tested. She has been doing this for years. My dad doesn't pay much attention and just does whatever she says . She is mean to him with her mouth. I am now 60 and have started having anxiety issues when I find out she is talking and complaining about me. My brother was the care taker and lived with them but he died two years ago. I was able to stay away from her for 20 years. But being the only child, I feel obligated to help and be in their lives. Can I walk away. I am in turmoil all the time. My daughter and husband suffer too. I am confused and worry for my self being

Gussie, she may be one of the loose-lipped people who enjoy talking bad about people. If there isn't something bad to say, it can be invented. The only reason I can see behind what these people do is they want attention. So they spin yarns with no concern of who they might be hurting. You can call her out on it, but she will probably just say that she wasn't lying, that you really had done it. It can be a mind twisting game.

You have to do what you feel you need to for their care, but it sounds like keeping as much distance as you can would be good. It will give her more time to make up good stories about you. Don't let her get your goat. It's not worth it.

My brother use to say most mothers protect their children from the wolves, but she throws us at them. Thank you for the words of encouragement. Need peace of mind.

Gussie, I think you have a very complex set of emotions to work through and you'd probably do best to discuss them with a sympathetic counsellor. I'm so sorry that you have lost your three brothers: this sounds like a harrowing history, and I even wonder if you're experiencing some kind of survivor guilt?

What sort of support do your parents need? Does it have to take you into frequent contact with them? There are always other options. As long as they are looked after, you sit tight and care for your own family - they're the ones who really need you.

Can you walk away? Of course! Absolutely! You managed to stay away 20 years and you can do that again.

It MAY be better for your own peace of mind, however, if you take some responsibility to see that they are safe and cared for, without actually doing the caregiving yourself. I don't recommend total abandonment but doing what has to be done from a distance. This seems to be a long-standing toxic relationship. Don't plunge yourself into that environment. Handle it at arm's length, perhaps through a social worker or other professional.

Are you in therapy along with taking anxiety pills? I think talking to a counselor is an excellent idea.

Get away from her. Mom is very much like this and we are about the same age. Take care of yourself. I talk to mom once a week unless she is nasty to me, then I give her space. It seems the less I engage, the better I feel. I live about 900 miles from her and sometimes even that is too close.

I really thank you all for your advice. It has given me courage to seek counseling.