2 sisters 700 miles away, rarely visit mom, never call to check on me. I've been primary caretaker of mom for over 8 years. I knew middle sisters and her husband were resentful about mom changing her will because she felt I was her only caretaker and in her mind, she felt that deserved "payment". I've expressed years ago and all along that I would be doing exactly what I'm doing if she had NOTHING to give as an inheritance. I said that I'm the daughter who lives in the same town, and I would care for her just as I've been doing no matter what. But my mother has never genuinely or freely (!) loved any of us and uses her money and property as power to control, always has... Nevertheless, I'm here and it's fallen to me to care for her. She changed her will to give me the house, and it's contents (to divide as I see fit with family members after she's gone, etc. etc. I never knew until last year how imbalanced her will is in my "favor". Frankly, I didn't care about what she'd changed in her will, I've been too busy trying to take care of her and eke out a semblance of a life for myself. I said that in front of both sisters in the past two years, saying that it would be more fair to all three daughters if she ever decided to sell her house and divide the sale money between us. I know that surprised my middle sister. My oldest sister used to be my only ally in my family and we were pretty good friends. She's the POA as my parents had set up before he died 8 years ago, but she never knew what that might entail. My sisters have deep emotional wounds because of mother, as I do, but at 70+ years of age, they've never moved out of those old pain and resentment patterns. They don't "love" mother, and I get it. I've had 58 years of abuse and manipulation AND I've had to live in the same town as her for most of that time. I function better with mother because I learned to, in part, distance my emotions and not take everything personally, impossible to do all the time, but I do it as much as I can. It helps. But I'm realizing that I am ALONE in all of this, and I'm just amazed, surprised that my sisters don't even LOVE ME or care about how I'm doing, if I need help, support or understanding.. after all, THEY KNOW our mother...! I'm realizing our manipulative mother has been using me all along, and now her power-plays have (irreparably?) damaged what little of a relationship I had with my sisters. Last year during another health crisis with mother, my eldest sister's son in law a lawyer told her she needed to hurry down from up north to get her name on papers and banking etc. She didn't tell me that was the purpose of her trip. I thought she was coming because mom was in the hospital and then in rehab and she knew I was overwhelmed and needed help. She visited mother ONCE at rehab, got mad at her, and spent the next two days at mom's lawyer's and at the bank and left. That's when she got HER feelings hurt and became resentful of me or maybe she doesn't trust me now, because she read mom's will and discovered (what I didn't know), about so much of mother's property was to go to me. I'm AFRAID of my sisters. I can't talk to them. I feel so alone! I'm such a Pollyanna, I tend to believe love and kindness is stronger than fear, anger or resentment. I'm just a sucker and I'm still being played like a puppet by my mother and it's cost me TOO MUCH for TOO LONG. But there's no way out. I won't stop doing what I can for her health and welfare, until she's finally gone.
Would any of you suggest I still try to communicate with my sisters? I don't see ANY hope they'll change in any way that will comfort or help me. But I appreciate being able to pour my grief and concern out to you here. I apologize that this is such a long, sad story.