My mom knows she is depressed, but refuses to talk to anyone about it. What can I do? - AgingCare.com

My mom knows she is depressed, but refuses to talk to anyone about it. What can I do?

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I get why she is depressed. She was told by her Dr. that she shouldn't live alone and to go live with family. I'm the only family she has, so she sold almost everything, moved over a thousand miles to live with me. It's been nine months and I can not get her to go to the senior center in town or even church and she went to church were she lived before. She has a hard time getting around because she gets so short of breath. Uses oxygen and takes breathing treatments. What can I do to get her to meet folks? The woman never met a stranger. She can talk to anyone. I know there are days when she really doesn't feel well, but she is in a rut and beginning to take it out on me. Any problem with her meds or insurance and all I hear is " I never should have moved up here, it's the biggest mistake I've made and now I have no where to go and on and on. Wishes she were dead. Will cry at the drop of a hat. When I've mentioned talking to her Dr. about feeling depressed she says she does not want to take anymore pills. I knew there would be a big adjustment to moving in with me, but I feel like she is circling the drain and anything I've tried doesn't work. She paints and moved all her painting stuff up, but she is either on the couch or in bed. Will not eat what I fix. Even when it's what she said she wanted. I can't do anything right. When she gets something from the insurance about not covering some med. she will not do anything about it. Will not call anyone. Sticks her head in the sand and says I can't handle it and "if they don't want me to have my meds. then I guess they can just take them away and I'll die". I hear this over and over again. Of course she had NO problem with her meds where she lived before. Only here. That is the main reason she wished she had never moved. So, I talk to lots of people and try to get the situation resolved the best I can, because I don't know about this stuff, but it is clear that my mom isn't going to even try to handle her health care problems with insurance and medicare. I'm just about at the end of my rope.

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I'm sorry you're having to deal with this and your mom is depressed. But you may need to use some tough love by making an appointment for her and making her go (and go with her and speak up to the doctor) to get the initial help. She shouldn't care about taking another pill if it helps her. My mother-in-law was depressed too and I talked to her doctor about it - and he put her on some medication for it. I also take an anti-depressant, and it's well worth it. The medication coverage issue is frustrating for anyone, as I had to deal with this with my mother-in-law. But since she's depressed, she may not have the patience to deal with it now so you should probably go ahead (if you're willing) and take over her medications - which sounds like you're already doing. And after she gets help with her depression, you may need to accompany her to a church or senior center so she will be more inclined to go until she gets comfortable enough to go alone. That way she can find out there's others there with health issues and lonely like her and not be so afraid of it. Good luck!!
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