My Mom who just moved in with me and my family keeps forgetting she can't get up by herself and falls. How do we prevent this?

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She has had 4 inpatient hospitalizations and 2 surgeries-most recently she broke her femur and is recovering - and 3 rehabs since April 28th of this year. My husband and I just remodeled our home to accommodate her (stair chair-lift, walk-in shower, railings on all walls, bed rail, etc). She and a live-in caregiver moved in with us last Saturday. She forgets she can't walk without her walker and assistance sometimes. The past 3 nights she has woken up confused, once sitting up in bed trying to get up and just this morning scooting to the end of the bed to get around the rail (the bed is pushed against the wall on one side) and managed to fall. Apparently she is ok this time but we need to prevent falls. The surgeon said if the rod or screws in her hip/leg move or pop out she will be in a wheelchair permanently. Plus she has exhausted her 100 Medicare days and needs to remain hospital-free for 60 consecutive days for them to renew. We have a baby monitor but no one heard her scooting down the bed, only the fall. Short of wrapping her in bubble wrap and putting a helmet on her (kidding) how can prevent this? We do not want her placed in a nursing home. We promised her plus the ones in our area we've researched and they are poorly rated. My husband and I are in debt so neither of us can quit our jobs to help out more. Oh, and we're newlyweds-7 months.There is no one else who can help. Does anyone have suggestions of something we've not thought to try? Thank you! !

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She is fantastic. She refuses to sit or eat with us. She cooked 2 separate dinners for us tonight. We tried to tell her we'd cook or at least help her but she refused stating it makes her happy. She is so kind and caring to us all. We hope she will be our permanent weekend caregiver. We have made sure her room is very comfortable with ample lighting, all new bedding and furniture and TV.

I know about burnout. We've been seeing to my mom's every need at hospitals and rehabs and picking things up nearly every day -she remembered she needed or wanted something 1.5 hours each way to bring it to her. And taking over her house responsibilities and all of her bills. It's overwhelming. We are so blessed with this caregiver who wants to be with my mom and help and do things like manicure her nails. It made my mom feel special.

God bless all those souls who give loving care..
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shesmon, your weekend Caregiver sounds fantastic.... there are lot of wonderful caring paid Caregivers out there.

But we also need to understand even a paid Caregiver can become burnt out after awhile. That is why there is such a huge turnover of workers.
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Thank you. I'm overwhelmed by the thought out and thoughtful responses by everyone. We have her scheduled for a doctors appointment next week and will discuss various options with her. A care facility may be in her near future. We have a temporary weekend caregiver so the full time one can get a few days off and she is fabulous. Unfortunately she is not available full time. She massages my mom's arms and legs, asked us to gather all the laundry(including my families) and when we brought our small dog down to bathe him she took over and did it! She offered to sleep in my mom's room, was up at 4 am to start the laundry. When my mom had a bad dream at 2 am she was right there talking with her and massaging her hands and then her head until my mom fell back to sleep. We wish she was available but she has her own child she has to care for.

Thank you again.
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It sounds like you need someone who is on duty at night. Yes, that costs. There is no 100% sure way to prevent all falls. Having someone in attendance reduces the risk.

You decided you can do a better job with Mom and in your home than a care center would do. And maybe you are right. You invested in the modifications to make the environment safer for her. You have a full-time caregiver. I commend you. But in a care center there are three shifts of people who look after the residents 24 hours. Each shift comes in, stays awake, does their work, and goes home. They have a life outside of the caring and that enables them to focus on the caring job fully while they are doing it. In order to handle this aspect of caring better than a professional care center does it seems to me you need more staff! I understand about the costs. I do. But your question is how can you prevent falls. The answers that will help reduce the risk of falls may not be free.

If mom has just moved in with you, her getting up at night may lessen as she gets used to the setting. And you can discuss with her doctor the danger of her getting out of bed on her own and ask if anything might help her sleep through the night.

You are newly weds. You are considering spending the night in your mother's room, all night, every night. What is wrong with this picture?
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Thank you all of you. The caregiver has her own room and has the baby monitor in there and we also have a speaker. We did not hear her scoot down the bed either. She has to get up usually 1 or 2 times each night to use the bathroom. We do limit liquids several hours before bed. She eats well. She gets confused. She sometimes forgets she can't get up alone and sometimes she's stubborn.

The hourly rates are more expensive than live in. We pay over $6,000 per month. Hourly would being it to over $7,000 per month. Assisted living may be an answer but is even more expensive. My mother's finances were cut in half by a relative which I just found out.

I will look into bed alarms and maybe mats. I may sleep in her room.

Thank you all again.
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shesmom, Your heart is in the right place. BUT, Nobody can prevent falls with a non-compliant patient. Absolve the live-in from liability, because mom will fall and the live-in will feel very bad about it. Many posters here have attempted what you are taking on. One just got out of the hospital herself, had a heart attack trying to keep up with mom.
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Here are some other preventive measures Try a bed alarm. Goes off soonas a person sits up. Put a mat or mattress on the floor to prevent serious if your mother should fall to prevent serious injury. Find out why she is trying to get up. Is she hungry?Try giving her a snack before bedtime. Trying to go to the bathroom ? Make sure she is toilited after dinner anf before going to bed.
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I did live in before. My contract said I was allowed to sleep at night. Two twelve hour shifts would be a good solution in this case. If the live in caregiver is there 24 hours a day it is a unreasonable expectation to expect a human being to be awake day in and out 24 hours a day. You might also consider adult daycare and a caregiver only at night. Choose the hours the shift will begin and end according to your needs.
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You said you have a 24-hour caregiver? Where was she when mom was falling?

If mom gets up in the middle of the night and wants to get out of bed the caregiver should be awake to keep your mom safe. I understand the caregiver needs sleep too but why else do you have her but to protect your mom? Can you do two caregivers in 12-hour shifts? The night caregiver would stay awake in case your mom wants to get out of bed.
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