Is my mom confused or have dementia?

This is a long article... but maybe some of it will help...

Confabulation in Dementia Can Feel Like Hurtful Lies - AgingCare ...
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-handle-alzheimers-disease-lying-144204.htm

Vascualr dementia (VaD) is somewhat different than the other progressive neurodegenerative diseases lke AD. VaD is caused by lack of oxygen to the brain caused by recurrung mini strokes. Symptoms may not be short term memory problems, but more often difficulty with decision making, paying bills, confusion, among other symptoms. Additionally, VaD changes most ofen comes in noticeable downward steps, as opposed to gradual declining. So the issues you describe could be early VaD. Who gave her this prognosis? A family dr.? A neurologist? These dementia related diseases cannot be diagnosed by a family physician. If you want to get yet another opinion, make sure you see a neurologist, neuropsychologist, or geriatric physician.

Play skippo 😀. Play it as long as you can ❤️.

When you say 'maybe she'll go back to normal' I feel a bit nervous for you. What are your expectations for a 100 year old lady?

Going forward - not back is the key. Could you try to move from *go back to normal* to *embrace the new normal*?

But keep enjoying what you can together & look for the positives throughout this aging journey.

Something similar is happening to my 88 year-old mum. As you say that's very confusing. She is ok one day and do strange things the following: like throwing food in the neighbors backyard or staring at the phone without picking it up as if she did not remember how it works. She had a brain scan but nothing serious was found. There had been some vascular events but normal at her age.

My father was diagnosed with vascular dementia. It’s been very confusing. Sometimes he seems perfectly fine and can stay that way for a while then at times he’s not fine and gets quite confused. I never know what kind of day he’s going to have so it’s really feels like a roller coaster ride. In fact, my sister is still in denial. She lives out of town and calls him once a week. She says I’ve never seen any signs of dementia. Yet I see it, and two doctors have diagnosed him with it. But I must say even I sometimes have my doubts until he gets confused all over again. His math skills are no longer the best so keeping a checkbook can be difficult and unfortunately he has gone down to the bank and accused them of stealing from him. He also no longer trusts me since I reported his driving. I try to help him as much as possible but he’s always been stubborn so he doesn’t want my help plus he doesn’t realize he has dementia and needs help, so it can get pretty frustrating.

Knowing movie star names can be older memories. Vascular Dementia (& most other types) affect short term memory first.

"You stole it". It seems to be very common. The combination of a little decline in short term memory & a little increase in paranoid thinking leads to this solution.

It's quite creative really. Something is missing, so the brain fills in the gaps with the story... you stole it.

First, recent memories may get tangled, distorted or covered up. Eg "What did you eat for lunch yesterday?" Answer soup. But you know she had a sandwich.

Then older memories may get tangled up with the present.
Eg "My neighbour broke into my house & stole my TV! It was right here. I just bought it!" (The long gone big box TV was a distant memory - the new flat screen still in the room).

Please don't take these accusations personally. Try not to deny them or get caught in futile arguements. Practice the subtle tricks to distract & disarm instead. Oh, someone borrowed that... I think it is just misplaced... the fairies have been at it again...

TIAs (small strokes) may be happening undetected. While it is sad to watch this decline,
you can accept what is & keep your focus on having a good day together.

Thanks

If it's a sudden change in personality a UTI is a good possibility. But if a doctor diagnosed her with vascular dementia it could be that worsening. Losing stuff then accusing family members of stealing it is very common for dementia patients.