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She just moved in July 4th. Try to get a visit her about a couple of times a week. For sure, I have to go there on a Saturday because I am responsible for her medicine weekly. I want to do pill pak but not sure how that would work. I am going to talk to my brother and see if she can afford it once a month. That would be all the pills that she is taking daily. She has mild unspecified dementia. Since she moved into there from when she was living in her apartment, she seems to be doing much better emotionally. She was living by herself since last Sept. I feel that it was a bad move on her part but she wanted to have an attached garage. Now she can't drive at all. We are her transportation. More so my husband and me than my brother and his wife. Have another brother but he lives in Ohio and works 3 jobs. He doesn't know what is going on. He has his own problems. I am now her healthcare rep and my brother doesn't seem to like that. He thought he was and I told him that. He is my oldest brother. Okay, my question is, since she just moved in, is it required of me to visit her daily? She is close and I know that she is being taken care of properly.

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At most once a week for a couple of hours. More than that, she will have you talked into taking her home and will throw a fit if you don’t. You will be a prisoner of her’s.You can kiss your vacations goodbye.
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anonymous912123 Jul 2019
Truth, you nailed it!
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My mother lives in Memory Care also, and her medicine dispensing is included in the high monthly costs, as is common with most of these places. Be sure to check, just in case it IS included and you missed that little tidbit among all the mounds of paperwork! Also, the MC should have a mini bus to provide transportation for your mom, to doctor appointments and so forth, no? Again, make sure you know ALL the amenities that are included with her monthly rent before you assume you have to take on various roles. The place should have a hair salon, a visiting dentist, doctors who come into the facility on a regular basis that you can sign up with, and other services of that nature. The idea being they don't 'have to' leave the facility, as a rule.

Visit as often as you'd like, that's my suggestion....there are no 'requirements' as far as visiting is concerned. I find it difficult to spend more than 1 hour with my mother for a variety of reasons, so I go over there every Friday and visit. I do call daily, if/when I can get her on the phone.

Best of luck!
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Visits are not REQUIRED, it’s just a matter of what works for your mom and family. Typically staff will suggest you pull back a bit, let mom get used to her new place.

As for meds, I paid for the assisted living facility to take care of all my parents medications. If finances allow I strongly recommend this. I could hardly keep up with all the meds my folks were taking before they went into care.
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Judy79 Jul 2019
Thanks!  I will ask the administrator there and see what she says about the medicine.  But it really isn't hard for me.  Of course, unless we are gone for the weekend.  I can always do 2 weeks at a time.  They did tell me that they do something like pill pak where they are.  It might be a win win. 

I am with you about pulling back and let her get used to her new place.  Personally, I don't like her being there but due to her going out of her apartment 3 times, they don't want to take any chances.  Of course, she was lonely.  My brother couldn't even figure that out.   Mom seems to like my husband and me being there than my brother and his wife.  She is 88 1/2 and it's going to take her a while to get used to being around people again.
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