I’m with my mom now and she wants to call the bank. Am I allowed to do it even tho I’m an alternate POA . She said she asked my sister to call and she said they need to wait for the statement.
mom will forget the conversation in a few minutes so I can wait til someone responded here for some guidance .
also is there a problem if I reply back to the new lawyer and say I don’t want to be an alternate bc I don’t want to be responsible for cleaning up my sister’s financial mess with moms accounts?
With the bank, if your mom can identify herself on the phone when you call them, and if she can tell them that they have permission to talk to you, they'll probably do it. You'll need her account number and other identifying features, such as SS# and her address. That's worked for me in the past. Or tell them you're putting the phone on speaker so you can both hear it (mom's hard of hearing, right?).
You can contact the lawyer who drew up the DPOA and ask that your name be removed. Or, if Mom is with it. Write a letter stating that you do not want this responsibility and you are stepping down. Have the letter notarized. Give a copy to Mom and your sister. If u know who the lawyer is, send him a copy. If Mom did not ask you before she made you an alternate, then put that in the letter saying you never excepted the assignment.
Just be aware, that if Mom has been found incompetent, that if something happens to sister Mom has no representative. The way Sis handled the money will have no bearing on you but like u said, u will need to clean up the mess.
I would walk away from this mess. Let sis deal with mom.