My Mom is still smoking. She will be 90 this year. Any advice?

Nicotine is thought to have some protective effects on the brain, but no one has ever said it prevents dementia (or Parkinson's). Having an effect doesn't mean something is absolute. On down the road they may find that the effect noticed was wrong. Health science results swing back and forth like a pendulum.

At 90, she isn't about to quit. I can't stand to be in a room with a smoker so all I can say is what I would do if she were my mother in that situation. My inlaws smoked, and I couldn't stand to visit them. I would have to wash everything in my suitcase and shower and wash my hair, etc when I got home. Everything reeked, which I'm sure your mother's house does - with two smokers. I would only visit her if we could sit outside and take her to lunch where she can't smoke, and of course forbid smoking in my car. I understand and sympathize with those addicted to cigarettes, but the other side of it is the aversion us non-smokers have to being exposed to the disgusting smell and choking smoke that makes our eyes burn.

For me it is the guilt that my family puts on me for being "unkind" and a bad daughter by not wanting to go inside my Mom's. I am the only one who lives in town. She is 80. I do go out to breakfast, lunch and dinner or shopping. My mother though shows her resentment of me by sometimes giving me the cold shoulder. It hurts a lot. My sister smokes but is trying to quit. No one allows smoke in their homes, but they expect me to accommodate and visit my Mom at her very smokey small apartment.

DaughterAut, take a step back and look at this and laugh.

Your family doesn't feel remotely guilty that they don't go and see your mother (oh, I forgot - only because they live too far away. Pity about that, or they'd be over every day, right?).

But they think you should feel guilty for objecting to spending time in a confined space with someone who smokes.

Uh-huh. They do, do they?

You're doing fine by your mother, relax. And, by the way, I can tell you that smokers get - oh, just - *tired* of being nagged. So don't go into her apartment, and tell her why if she asks, but don't yak on about it either. She can smoke if she pleases. You can not join in by going into her home if you please. Fair enough.

If you are going to comment about the ingredients in cigs, please educate yourself first rather than spreading misinformation. Antifreeze contains ethylene glycol. The ingredient in ecigs is propylene glycol and is a component in asthma inhalers. You can quit cigarettes from ecigs. My husband and I both smoked tobacco cigarettes over forty years and managed to quit using ecigs. The nicotine level in them is what you choose and the idea is you begin to decrease that level over time until you can be down to 0% nicotine. The only other ingredients in vape are food grade glycerin and flavorings. Our doctors have told us it is thousands of times better for your health than tobacco. If this is a way a person can stop smoking tobacco, why on earth would people want to keep them from doing so? It is also more pleasant and healthy to be around than smoke when all it produces is a fragrant vapor. We tried gum, patches, etc. everything, and this is the only thing that has been helpful.

Thanks!