Mom is spending way too much, dad isn't at all?

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My dad has Lewy body dementia and and my mother has classic Parkinson's, my dad is more advanced than my mother is with dementia. He is about six months away from going into a dementia care facility. My mother is spending a lot and even after speaking with her about toning it down, she still spends erratically---to self medicate her mental issues I presume with a touch of dementia. (7k on clothes last year---she doesn't wear them!) She has very little concern over my dads care or well-being, and is essentially checked out. Since my dad spends nothing, how do I protect some of this money for HIS impending care? I have POA and am co-trustee of their trust account. Do I seek to have her declared incompetent and take over? We can't seem to get through to her. Is there any way do help this situation aside from playing hardball (declaring her incompetent).

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A lawyer may be able to help separate the monies. If ur Dad went on Medicaid, they would take a portion of their shared income leaving ur Mom enoughto support herself.
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My dad declared me as POA when he cannot make sound financial decisions (which is now due to the dementia). My mother has no financial decision making rights over my father at all.
Thank you all so much for your insight and thoughts. It really does help.
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Wouldn't be nice if there was a place that would evaluate a parent. Instead of court it would be a mediator/s of health pros. The would help decide where a parent should be placed if found the parent can no longer take care of themselves. Once a decision is made (caregiver is involved) the mediators would help to place the parent accordng to finances. Helping out with paperwork. Would make lives a little easier.
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You could open an account for your father and put money in there safe for him. Then take Mom's credit card or send the company your POA and close the account. When she asks why she can't use them, just say that they were closed because she spent too much.
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Sounds like the mother is unable to make sound financial decisions. My POA and MPOA gives me every right and I exercise them. I also have a military POA which is even more powerful. Do what you have to do to save your parents Lilpig.
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Just because you have POA you don't have the right to stop all access to their money or accounts - you need guardianship for that. POA only allows you to make decisions when they are unable to, and it should only be used as a proxy for what they would actually do themselves if they could. It's not a right to run someone's life and force them to live the way you want. I know it's hard and your mother should be more careful with money, but just because you have POA doesn't give you the ability to force change on her when she is still able to make decisions (even if they are bad decisions)
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"there is be nothing" - What I meant to say was there will be nothing to put...have to eat breakfast!
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Since you have POA, stop all access to money with banks, credit cards, and inform your mother if she needs something to ask you. You had better stop the outflow or there is be nothing to put your father in a facility. Dementia care is very expensive - about $5,000 - $7000+ per month depending on where you live.
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From personal experience you can't just " get control" over their spending. It's still their life. You can't put you dad in care even with POA because your mom still gets to make all those decissions for him if he is unable. They still have rights. It may be frustrating,but you have no control. You may find the more you try to " help" or give advise the more they resist. I think it's their way of denying what's really happening. I hate to throw water on the issues but I've found you have to step back and let them come to their own ruin.my inlaws are in foreclosure and still refuse to rent or go into a Mobile home. I figure once they are sleeping on the streets in their car that one bedroom apartment will be looking mighty inviting.
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