My dad has Lewy body dementia and and my mother has classic Parkinson's, my dad is more advanced than my mother is with dementia. He is about six months away from going into a dementia care facility. My mother is spending a lot and even after speaking with her about toning it down, she still spends erratically---to self medicate her mental issues I presume with a touch of dementia. (7k on clothes last year---she doesn't wear them!) She has very little concern over my dads care or well-being, and is essentially checked out. Since my dad spends nothing, how do I protect some of this money for HIS impending care? I have POA and am co-trustee of their trust account. Do I seek to have her declared incompetent and take over? We can't seem to get through to her. Is there any way do help this situation aside from playing hardball (declaring her incompetent).