Mom is seeming really odd sometimes. What is she doing?

Wow. So many things going on here.

This pretty much like a disaster waiting to happen. Her behavior is indeed very odd. In and out of the house every 3 - 5 minutes? Perhaps a little beyond odd. I also think this is extremely dangerous. She is going to get seriously hurt, sooner or later. Falling ans running out of control? This has got to end, somehow.

Does she have dementia?

If she does, I do not think it is a good idea to leave her home alone. Which either means getting an aide to come in while you're at work or re-looking at the nursing home option. Sometimes it becomes the only safe option. It's not what you or she wants, BUT when the person in question is not safe, you have to take some kind of action. Comes a time when none of the options seem very good.

What is your husband not seeing? Is he looking at the video showing her going in and out of the house? Maybe he just wants to put his head in the sand?

When my dad had ALZ, he once went out into our garage over 20 times in a few hours to look at the car, and ask "Is that my car? Where are the keys"? We actually counted and could not redirect him. They become obsessive about things.

My husband wouldn't notice a dirty pile of laundry sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, so that's what I have to say about men in general not seeing things that WE see plain as the nose on our face.

Sounds like your mother has dementia and is exhibiting typical OCD type behavior by going in and out of the front door all day long. She's putting herself in real danger by losing her balance and falling, or running out of control. It's just a matter of time before she winds up in the hospital with broken bones or worse.

You say you 'just couldn't do it' about placing your mother in a nursing home. Is it safer for her to be living in the mountains and putting herself in REAL danger all day long, doing what she's doing, or for her to be cared for by a team of care-givers 24/7? My mother is 93 and lives in a wonderful Memory Care Assisted Living Facility for the past 6 years. I'd never have her living anywhere else but in professional care, where she's safe, and I never feel guilty about it. She's lucky enough to have the money to afford a lifestyle such as she's being afforded, and when she runs out of money in 2021, I'll apply for Medicaid and get her into a nice nursing home here where she went for rehab last year.

You are obviously not 'seeing things' if you have a camera filming your mother's antics. Believe what you see and make an appointment for her to be evaluated by her PCP asap. You say she's suffering 'very serious health conditions' in addition to what may be dementia, so you've got to get her to the doctor before something awful happens!

Good luck!

Her behavior IS off, and a recipe for disaster.

No way can you have her move to a NH or ALF? You can't watch her 24/7.

My DH doesn't notice ANYTHING. I've painted rooms, cut my hair from waist length to a pixie cut, bought a new car. He didn't notice for weeks.

You are best to evaluate. I doubt DH has an opinion about your mom's behavior. My Dh could not care less about my mom. Not being mean, just being a guy. (No offense to the many male CG's on this site!)

I think you are finding out that although modern tech is a wonderful resource it can not replace boots on the ground, watching from a distance is never going to allow you to figure out what she is up to off camera nor allow you to intervene and avert disaster.

norwoodpa, do you live locally to her? It is time to sit down with your husband and a list of dementia symptoms from like Mayoclinic.org or AARP and realize she is having serious decline that is dangerous to her living alone. Cameras will only go so far. First place to start is making sure you have DPoA for your mom. If you do, make sure you are informing any of your siblings so that there is transparency and they can give input. Whoever has medical PoA needs to get her to a doctor to perform a cognitive exam so that there's proof of her condition, which will also inform your decisions on her behalf. You can no longer reason with her, as dementia eats away at her ability to reason. She won't remember things, her short-term memory will fade. You should get her tested for a UTI, since sometimes its only symptom is confusion and behavior changes. Untreated, it could turn into sepsis (bad). Also time to get her sensitive financial info secured if you haven't already done that. You will have your hands full for a while. I would recommend you visit some care facilities but I"m pretty sure they're still locked down due to covid. The newer ones are quite nice. Also consider agency in-home care or adult day care (but think she will need overnight care since she is now known to wander). I'm hoping she no longer drives. If she does, this needs to be retired as well. I wish you all the best in taking care of her. Let us know how it goes.

I'd treat that kind of behavior as an emergency and have her evaluated by her doctor to see what's going on with her. She obviously shouldn't be left unattended at all. There are any number of things that could cause obsessive, erratic behavior. She could have an infection, drug reaction, brain damage, mental illness, etc. I'd explore to find out why, but, in the meantime protect her.

When our older loved ones have dementia, it is not a "one day you don't have problems" and then "you have dementia." It is a progressive disease and that may mean very slow changes in behavior. That is why well-meaning, distant family/friends remark on the changes when they see this loved one; something that close family/friends may not notice.

I always come back to 2 standards: health and safety. Walking is usually a very healthy activity and should be encouraged. However, balance and mobility issues that lead to falls is not healthy or safe. If your mom will use a walker when she is outdoors, that would partially help with the safety aspect. Her lack of discernment about the weather conditions and constant "indoors-outdoors" behavior sets little alarms ringing in my head... She has progressed to a point that she needs a caregiver with her. Please consider how you and your husband can provide her with the in-person supervision she requires. Consider a home health aide or sitter for when you must be away from your mom as the minimum.

Norwoodpa,
At the very least, your Mom needs a daytime caregiver! She may know her way around now, but might not tomorrow. Imagine if she couldn't find her way home?
If Mom has dementia, it's a possibility. Wandering is a common symptom.
Many of us understand how painful the decision to place our loved ones in assisted living or memory care is. Keep in mind that sometimes it's a positive step. There are lots of activities and other people to interact with every day.
Maybe Mom's wandering is because she's bored and lonely.
Best wishes and prayers!

She needs to be in a Nursing Home. This is an incredibly dangerous situation. She could literally be eaten alive by feral pigs or coyotes or whatever if shes unsupervised and falls.