Mom is now repeating almost chanting" Maryjane", which is not my name or calls out constantly for "mom". Anyone else dealt with this? - AgingCare.com

Mom is now repeating almost chanting" Maryjane", which is not my name or calls out constantly for "mom". Anyone else dealt with this?

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This behavior has gotten worse the last few days. Trying new med tonight. Has anyone had this issue? Just keeps relentlessly calling, even if I am there...but is at times lucid, and will continue if I get up and move or fold the laundry or go to the bathroom...God have mercy

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Everything good advice on these posts. I went through some of these same things with my dear deceased husband. He thought I was his sister, his mother, and sometimes he did not know me at all. We could be sitting side by side in our chairs and he would ask, "Where's my wife?" I did not say, "I'm right here". That he would not have understood. So...I would go in another room, change my cobbler apron, come out and say, "Were you looking for me?" And of course, he says, "Yes, am I ever glad to see you. I thought you had gone out and left me." Alz./dementia...whatever... is a horrible disease and no two patients are alike. JennyM's answer is the short and sweet version. Bless all of you who are in the caregiver role - remember, the person you are taking care of is not the same person nor will they ever be again - the person you knew, but...they are your loved one and they deserve the very best we can give them. They may not remember who you are, but they will remember your kindness to them. xxxooo with love, blessings and prayers for all, you are doing the Lord's work here on earth.
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It's not just something that happens to people with official dementia: It's a basic human thing for people at the end of their lives to call for their oldest attachments, especially their mother. It will help you deal with it, the more understanding of that you are. You don't have to "do" anything about it. Some possible empathic responses: "Yes, you miss her, don't you." "She loved you, and so do I." "I think her spirit is still with you." "Yes, it would be great if she were here." One good way to spur your imagination to come up with your own empathic scripts is to ask yourself, "What else can I say that could start with 'yes'?"
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I'm not religious in the usual sense. I guess I'd call myself a spiritualist as I am a strong believer in the spirit world. I think there may be something to the fact that, close to the end of life, people often speak to and say they see those who have departed. The day my father passed, 15 years ago, my apartment was filled with a strong smell of chrysanthemums. I checked the hallway and balcony but, no, it was inside. Then I remembered my grandfather, my father's father, had a hobby greenhouse and grew the most wonderful fragrant chrysanthemums which adorned the dining table every Christmas. To me it was a sign that grandfather had come to collect his eldest son and guide him on his journey into the hereafter.

I'm open to and good with what anyone believes in but, over my lifetime, I've had many encounters with the spirit world. From my perspective be happy that the spirits of those long passed are with your loved one to be by their side on their journey. I wish you all peace.
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With dementia, the brain can 'get stuck' in the past, since long term memory stays intact longer than short term memory. Therefore the person loses track of current dates, how old they are and what's happened in the previous years. My Dad, has at times, identified my Mom as HIS mother, and me as his wife, when he's 'stuck back in the 1950s time frame'. Or he'll say, " I think I want to go visit Lloyd (his brother, who is long since gone) today" at times. We gently just say, " No, that's Mom...this is your wife" or gently get back into the year it is now and then help him remember that Lloyd died a long time ago of lung cancer. Or help him grasp that it is 2013 and his own Mom died in 1988...a long time ago. Then I might focus on how we all traveled to Maine together, remember?? And you and I walked all through the cemetery and you showed me where the family plot was....etc etc...so we go off talking about something related to all that which was enjoyable for him. But I remember how it threw me off the first time he seemed confused at my house one morning, and said, " Where are we anyhow?" I helped him get reoriented and my Mom was in the kitchen washing dishes, and in the process of saying things like, 'Remember, Babe, our dog over there?" or "See the table, that's where we always eat dinner."....I said, " Well, who do think that is in the kitchen?" And he looked at Mom for a bit long and then commented, " OH...that's my Mother! I've been wanting to see her again!" When Dad does that, I don't tell him he's wrong if I can figure out a way to let him figure it out. On that day, I called Mom and had her come over and just said to him, " Well now that you can see her better, who is she?" And he was easily able to say, " OH...that's Waneta. I know you!" And we just let it go. Sometimes this happens, and when he can get it corrected himself, he acts a bit irritated, like what's wrong with US, that we led him to think it was someone else! But you just have to blow it off. He gets very upset sometimes when he figures out he was totally off, but I can generally diffuse that by saying, 'Well, guess your brain just isn't connecting the right way this morning" or something. He can be well aware that his memory is shot and be in touch with the fact that he knows he has dementia. Before he got so bad last December, he was actually able to joke about it and would call on the phone and say, " Well the brain cells aren't working today and I need help. Can you help me remember thus and so....?" So he can still get in touch with that knowledge sometimes still. If he seems upset about it, I can jokingly say, 'Well Dad, that's why you have Mom and I....so we can help you remember and keep those brain cells organized". Because of his education and career etc, it seems important to him to clarify this 'brain problem' rather than him sitting thinking he's just all messed up. So this seems to work for us. It might not help another person?
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I've often found "going along with" is easier on the dementia patient and on you. Especially when they are in later stages.
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My Dad said his deceased brother came to visit him several days before he passed.. I believed him...
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jd, its so normal ! So many did it at the daycare and my Mom did it for probably 10 months or so. It was either "mom" or her "husband" both deseased. I learned the hard way not to tell them they are gone! I just say "oh shes at work, or Hes stuck in traffic" and she was surprisingly fine with it! It got to the point I could say she or he was in the bathroom and then she forgot again. The Alz support group told me to treat them as if they are a customer and the customer is always right, works great! It got to a point Mom thought my husband was hers and my husband would hold her hand all through dinner each night and we sang old songs and christmas songs to her, no worries, its just so sad for them. You know when child hurts themselves they call for MOM, well thats what they are doing, they are looking for comfort. Dont let it get to you, there is SO much worse to come, like peeing on the floor, lol. Gotta laugh or cry.
RR
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When my great aunt was in the NH with dementia, she thought I was her cousin. I just went with it. She used to tell me that she called her mom to come and stay with her there, but her mother couldn't come right now. Once she thought her mother had left her car in another town, and she walked out of the NH to find it. Obviously she didn't get far, and they put a GPS ankle bracelet on her that would sound an alarm if she got too near the exit. She thought it was a bandage because she had been bitten on the ankle by a dog many, many years before. As others have said, they seem to go back to the past. I felt it brought her comfort, so I just left it alone. When she would tell me all about her sisters who had all passed long before her, I would just listen to her tales. She told stories about them as though they were young. It would have just upset her if I had told her they were all dead, so I felt the best thing to do was to just listen and go along with her stories.
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My dad said help me help me 24 hours a day the week before he passed. It broke my heart.
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I am glad to say that my Mom hasn't started that yet. But I want you to know that I feel your pain, every day there seems to be a new challenge. Someone on this site will have experienced this just hold on they'll respond...
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