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Mom wears depends, pads and has washable pads on bed 24/7. She uses a bedside commode at night. Both knees shot so moving quickly is a problem.

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This works wonders. Your mom can still get up which is good. Get her some Depends name-brand pull-ups (not the briefs which are actual diapers). Then line them with a trimmed down infant diaper. This is what I did for my clients who were totally incontinent and diaper-dependent. Baby diapers are made from different material then adult ones. They are super absorbent and the surface will stay dry no matter what. On my last job the client was totally invalid and bedbound. In the morning when I would come in, the baby diaper liner would weigh a ton and be totally soaked with urine. The surface of it stayed dry though. Try this. You will find it works wonders.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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I have a relative suffering with incontinence for many years. Unable to do bladder training, medications haven't worked, mobility problems too adding problems getting to the bathroom in time.

Incontinence Specialist Nurse said cure or contain: if cure was not possible, containment was the goal.

Pads, heavier pads, bed pad & commode for night.

If the supra pubic catheter was required for a medical reason, I would support this. It would probably make life easier & drier.

I'm sorry I don't have any solution for you.
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Reply to Beatty
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My husband didn't have much luck with the bladder control medications either,(never noticed that they made his dementia any worse), so he ended up getting a supra pubic catheter put in(which is a permanent catheter) and that made both of our lives so much easier, as he wasn't having to get up every hour to pee and risk falling and I only had to empty the bag twice a day, and actually got to get some much needed sleep. Might want to consider that.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Every single drug my mother has been given for ANYTHING has worsened her dementia, significantly.........making a treatment plan for her nearly impossible. She's been urinary incontinent for years now so we have no other choice but to accept it and deal with it accordingly. Since she's taken more than 50 falls in her Assisted Living and now Memory Care ALF, getting up at night to use the bathroom is NOT happening without help. If she has to urinate, she does so in her Depends; she is awoken between 3 and 4 am to see if she needs either a Depends change or to be taken to the toilet. I buy her Extrasorbs disposable chucks which are fantastic and can absorb a gallon of liquid! The staff still has to change her bed linens sometimes, but not nearly as often as they once did before the Extrasorbs.

https://www.amazon.com/Medline-Extrasorbs-Drypad-Underpads-Permeable/dp/B07GYZNDY8/ref=sr_1_5?crid=290HUSAN58RJR&dchild=1&keywords=medline+extrasorbs+ap+30x36&qid=1603660311&sprefix=medline+extra%2Caps%2C349&sr=8-5

Good luck! I know how tough it is to not be able to give your mom 90% of the medications out there that can be used to HELP her! It's very frustrating.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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You say that the medication "worsened dementia". Does your doctor suggest that is the case? I would be surprised if that is the case. Did the medications work? Once the medications were removed did the worsening symptoms go away? Do you think that a general worsening of your Mom's dementia could have been mistaken as side effects of these drugs? I am not questioning that this happened, but merely who suggested it was the case. I do know some of the dangers of some of these drugs. There can be some retention of urine leading to UTI and etc. But have never heard of them worsening dementia. I think as to the pads and best personal care products I will allow others with more expertise. Has the urologist pretty much said "Well, here we are; we have done what we can and no more to be done?"
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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InFamilyService Oct 25, 2020
Yes, her primary took her off the bladder medications claiming the side effects were brain fog and increased cognitive decline.. She is much clearer mentally. It took a while but the change is huge. Primary said pretty much there is nothing else to do because mom refuses pelvic floor therapy or other possible procedures such as starting with a cystoscopy or botox. She is non compliant trying bladder training and it was suggested emptying her bladder on a schedule instead of waiting for the urge to go. Cannot see a benefit going to a urologist when all she wants is a pill. Was just hoping to get some suggestions.
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If using the bedside commode is a risk and there is a fear that she will fall then do away with it.
Waterproof mattress pad if she is still in a "regular bed with a regular mattress".
Think about switching to a Hospital bed with a proper mattress that will resist moisture, be easy to clean and will be better for her as she spends more time in bed.
To make transferring her from bed to chair or commode easier either a Sit-to-Stand or a Hoyer Lift will be much safer and more comfortable for you and her.

Make sure the pad you are using with the disposable brief is not lined and intended to be used with an incontinent brief.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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InFamilyService Oct 25, 2020
Yes, my dad had a hospital bed. I have not thought about that being an easier way for her to get up.
Will double check if there is a lining on her pads.
She likes her bedside commode and finds it easier to use during the night.
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