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Hello, I posted a week ago About my mom. It turns out a lot of her medical issues are from this severe depressive episode she has had. We have tried so many anti psychotics, depressants and benzodiazepines and nothing has helped my mom. She gets in these moods where she becomes catatonic and refuses to answer anyone or even respond. She won’t eat and won’t get up to even use the restroom she has become completely incontinent and doesn’t care. She also locks up And resists if we try and make her stand up. She wants to die and if this continues the Dr said we would have a few weeks before her body would shut down completely. The hospital has tried getting her to an in treatment facility for mental health and they all refuse. My mom tells me she will 100% give up if we send her anywhere I don’t know what to do. It feels wrong to let her die but if she is unwilling to help herself and eat or take medication I won’t don’t have much choice. She made it very clear she would not want a feeding tube. The hospital has her on fluids but they want to discharge my mom and unfortunately she is pending Medicaid so no Ltc facility will take her. Has anyone else gone through Something like this?? She has brief moments of clarity where she is her old self but like a flash she is gone again. I think it maybe more then depression but the hospital thinks otherwise. Her birthday is next week and she is going to be a young 63 :( I’m at a loss and don’t know where else to turn.

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Sounds like your mom has already given up, based on what you've said here..........so if you were to send her to a facility and she 'gave up', it would be no different than if she stayed at home and gave up. Being unwilling to eat, to take meds, to stand up.........what is that if not 'giving up'? You're likely going to reach a point where you have no other choice BUT to send her to a SNF or literally watch her die at home, which would be awful.

Why are the treatment facilities refusing to take her in as a patient? Has she had a psych evaluation by a geriatric psychiatrist? I would insist on that before the hospital releases her! Something is going on besides just 'depression', it sounds like, as you've said. What sorts of tests have they run at the hospital? How did they arrive at a diagnosis of 'depression'..............? Based on what?

In any event, you can't save a person from herself, unfortunately. If it's TRULY your mother's wish to die, then nobody is going to prevent her from doing so. I turned 63 this past July, and just can't imagine feeling the way your mom does, or worse yet, putting my CHILDREN through what she's putting YOU thru. Tell her that. Let her know that what she's doing is very selfish and hurtful and it's making YOU sick to witness her going through this. Maybe, by some miracle, she will hear what you're saying and become willing to talk to you. To let you know what's going on inside her head. To give you some INSIGHT as to what's happening here.

I'm so sorry you are going through such a terrible ordeal. Sending you a big hug and a bunch of prayers for some kind of good resolution to this nightmare.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Do you have power of attorney or guardianship for her? It seems to me she's not competent to make a decision on her own, so her saying she'll give up if you send her anywhere is irrelevant.

This is a treatable problem, and I think it's imperative she goes to a mental facility. Why would these facilities refuse to take her? It's what they're supposed to do.
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Reply to MJ1929
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I really don't know what to say but am so shocked that your mother feels this way at 63!  What other physical conditions does she have?   I can't help wondering if doctors are missing something in just prescribing various meds.   Does she have lifelong debilitating conditions?   Lost a loved one recently?   Confined to a wheelchair?

I think something's really bothering her and it hasn't been identified, but that's obviously not an informed opinion, just insight.   

However, you mentioned moments of clarity, then she's "gone again".   It's not clear if she was diagnosed with a type of dementia.   

Could you elaborate a bit more on her physical condition?

This is really distressing; I can  understand how it can be so upsetting.

People will probably laugh at this, but I'm of the opinion that sometimes natural remedies are best.   Does she respond to pets?   Cat and dog therapy usually bring out something in people that meds can't.    Flowers?   Do they cheer her up?
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Reply to GardenArtist
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